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911 Memorial on 16 Sep 2001

2011-09-09T15:53:00.001-07:00

Hillcrest Ward 16 Sep 2001

My Shepherd will supply my need; Jehovah is his name;
In pastures fresh he makes me feed, beside the living stream.
He brings my wandering spirit back, when I forsake his ways,
and leads me for his mercy's sake, in paths of truth and grace.

When I walk through the shades of death, thy presence is my stay;
One word of they supporting breath drives all my fears away.
Thy hand, in sight of all my foes, doth still my table spread;
My cup with blessings overflows, thine oil anoints my head.

The sure provisions of my God attend me all my days;
O may thy house be mine abode and all my work be praise!
There would I find a settled rest while others go and come,
no more a stranger nor a guest; but like a child at home.

--Isaac Watts--

In the ninth through the fourteenth chapters of Alma in the Book of Mormon, Alma the Younger and Amulek preach to the people of Ammonihah. After several chapters of the best doctrinal preaching we can find in the scriptures some of the people of Ammonihah are converted. The unbelievers cast out the converted and then subject their wives and children to death by fire. When Alma and Amulek are brought forth to witness the scene they are greatly pained. Amulek wants to use their power to save the innocent. But, Alma is restrained and tells Amulek that the martyrs are received up unto the Lord in glory.

I believe that the mass of humanity who passed through the veil together Tuesday morning were greeted with tides of Joy and Hope and Release that many times overshadowed the horror and vulnerability and despair that we felt as we watched those buildings crumble.

There can be no doubt of the level of anguish our Heavenly Father feels at such times: "And the king was moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!" (2 Samuel 18:33)

God can prevent senseless loss of life and suffering and often does. We constantly solicit and enjoy the covering of his almighty protection. He does not always step in to shield us from the machinations of a temporal world.

"But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5)

The origin of the word in Semitic languages that most often is used to communicate the concept of the Atonement refers to an ancient custom in which one fleeing for his life in the desert would seek refuge in the tent of a great sheik by crying out "I am thy suppliant". Whereupon, the Lord would accept the suppliant with symbolic embrace by placing the hem of his robe over the shoulder of the kneeling guest and declare him under his protection. (Nibley, Approaching Zion)

Thus Nephi declares "The lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love" (2 Nephi 1:15) and "O lord, wilt thou make a way for me to escape before mine enemies!'" (2 Nephi 4:33).

Following this analogy further, when we invite others to come unto Christ, we enlarge the borders of Zion, adding "stakes" to her "tent", increasing the circumference of her skirt, bringing more children to seek protection from the "covering" of the atonement.

In times of despair the Gospel gives up hope. But, hope of what? The hope of glory and resurrection, of an inheritance with God. No more a stranger, nor a guest, but like a child at home.

When Aaron teaches the father of Lamoni, the King of the Lamanites, it seems the point at which the kings decides to put to test the words of Aaron is when he is taught that "...since man had fallen (he) could not merit anything of himself; but the sufferings and death of Christ atone for their sins, through faith and repentance, and so forth; and that he breaketh the bands of death, that the grave shall have no victory, and that the sting of death should be swallowed up in the hopes of glory..."

This is nearly the same concept that Paul strives to teach to the Saints in the New Testament.

Colossians 1:26-27

"Even the mystery which hath been hid from ages and from generations, but now is made manifest to his saints: To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hopes of glory:"

1 Thessalonians 5:8

"But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation."

The despair and grief of the passing week can only be overcome by the fruits of the Gospel, the hope of glory and resurrection through faith in Christ.

When we come to this realization and conversion then we can be led to exclaim as Paul:

" For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

(Romans 8:38)

May we seize upon the clarity and galvanization produced by these events and help others to come unto Christ through the prospect of the great hope of glory and resurrection and an inheritance with God that is its greatest gift.

And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us.
The prince of darkness grim, We tremble not for him; His rage we can endure,
For lo! his doom is sure; One mighty word shall fell him.

That word above all earthly powers. No thanks to them, abideth;
The Spirit and the gifts are ours Through Him who with us sideth;
Let goods and kindred go, This mortal life also; The body they may kill:
God's truth abideth still; His kingdom is forever.

--Martin Luther--

Testimony (from May 2005)

2010-03-20T00:34:00.000-07:00

Our Stake has recently been admonished to bear "Pure Testimony"
frequently, taking a cue from the October 2005 General Conference talk
of Elder M. Russell Ballard. This suggestion includes learning more
about the function of bearing Testimony. I had a good friend in
college who talked of rating testimonies each month, whether the
bearer's words qualified as a "real" Testimony or not. One danger in
scrutinizing this uniquely LDS phenomenon is that we start judging the
testimonies of others and disdaining them as inadequate. In the
sincere Spirit of avoiding that evil I offer some observations.

I had the opportunity to meet one on one with our Stake President in
preparation for our Ward Conference and we discussed in some detail
this topic, partly because my own understanding was not clear. He was
trying to prepare me for our first Ward Conference four days later and
wanted to make sure that the Bishop understood this concept and could
set an appropriate example for the ward. I believe I learned something
from that meeting that I would like to share.

There are two areas of my Testimony bearing that I have changed since
this instruction. I learned something that I'm sure must have been
pointed out to me before: The Holy Ghost bears Testimony of Gospel
principles. Thus, while it may be true and good that I love my wife
and family, it is really not part of a Testimony. Also, saying you
love the Savior or are deeply grateful for his sacrifice are not
actually bearing witness of Him. We should spend the valuable time we
have in Testimony meetings bearing pure Testimony to invite that
strong Spirit and edify everyone. Children and people who are immature
in the Gospel may not understand all of the words and concepts. But,
they will recognize the Spirit.

I explained to the Stake President probably by way of rationalization
that I often felt I needed to relate an anecdote or some Gospel
related story to work myself into the Spirit so I could bear my
Testimony. I explained that most people were probably following that
same pattern for the same reason. The President taught me that is not
the "job" of the Testimony bearer. His job is to open his mouth and
allow the Spirit to come. Anecdotes and uplifting spiritual accounts
are more a characteristic of a proper talk.

We recently studied the gifts of the Spirit in our Gospel Doctrine
classes. I believe that a Testimony and the ability to invoke the
Spirit through bearing a Testimony, are gifts of the Spirit. It is one
of the most important and sacred things we can do together. If we set
out to do it and try to "do the Spirit's job for him," we are denying
the Gift of God. In the "old" entrenched pattern the speaker usurps
the Spirit's function by trying to "bring" the Spirit with a nice
story.

I learned that a lot of what we hear in our Fast and Testimony
meetings we could actually hear in most other churches as well. Let us
step up to our task and do that which we are uniquely enabled to do
because of the Gift of the Holy Ghost and because of our Testimonies.
That is literally to be bathed in the Spirit in a way similar to the
occasion of King Benjamin's famous discourse and Christ's appearance
to the Nephites.

I took a look back at the talks of the Apostles at the October 2004
General Conference. I found that in the closing/Testimony portion of
their talks they rarely use the phrase "I know." It is most common for
them to simply state the facts. We refer to D&C 46:13-14 (To some it
is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of
God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world. To others it
is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal
life if they continue faithful.) and make a distinction between
believers and knowers. I would guess that there are many who feel
inadequate in their Testimony because of this distinction. This is
unfortunate because the scripture clearly states that each is a gift
from God, not one above another. It very well may be that many who
feel inadequate would be able to bear a strong Testimony, and be
edified by doing so, if they had a better idea what it entails and
what the bearer's function is. I now refrain from using the words "I
know." Let me be clear, it is important to know and it is important
for us to be assured of one another's testimony. But, let's not allow
it to be a hurdle that hinders Gospel growth.

Now, often when I hear the phrase "I know" in a Testimony, it can
almost be a distraction. It can sound to me as if the bearer is trying
to convince me that he has a Testimony. That seems almost tangential
and beside the point. As a bishop, of course I care if someone has a
Testimony or not. But, in a Fast and Testimony meeting the point is to
bear witness of God the Father, his Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy
Ghost, to testify of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and of his role as
Savior and Redeemer, and to declare the restoration of the Gospel in
these the Latter Days. Convincing the congregation that you have a
testimony is secondary.

While it is not necessary to go beyond the facts, it may be helpful to
the audience. If you were called to be a witness at a trial and said,
"I know the defendant is innocent" a good judge or attorney would make
you explain how you knew. What makes you a credible witness? Well, I
have read the book and it rings true. I have felt the sweet Spirit
that its study brings. I have seen the fruits of living its principles
in my life.

To summarize and reinforce:
Stay on point, stick to Gospel principles especially core Gospel principles;
Your job is to open your mouth and let the Spirit flow;
State the Facts;
If you feel inclined, tell us how you were led to your conviction; and
Sit down, Let someone else do the same.

Since coming to a greater understanding of this great lesson I have
enjoyed much more the opportunity to bear Testimony. I have felt the
Spirit more and my Testimony has been strengthened. I see this gift as
one of our most important duties as members of the Church. We have
been taught for years that bearing your Testimony strengthens it. I
have found this to be true.

I spoke to the Priesthood Brethren and the Relief Society some weeks
ago on this topic prior to our Fast and Testimony meeting. I could
tell that some of the members were afraid to make an attempt after my
remarks. This saddened me somewhat. But, there were several who seemed
to have taken my ideas to heart and who bore powerful testimonies. One
sister in particular followed the pattern set by our Church leaders
and bore one of the strongest and most inspiring testimonies I have
ever heard.

It is true that we are beset with years of habit and tradition. People
who are speaking spontaneously and from the heart rarely have the
presence to say exactly what they want to say in the way they mean to
say it. Also, it is difficult for little children to learn these
concepts instantly. We can teach them correctly and let them take baby
steps to get where they ought to be. I can assure you that if we
follow the pattern of the Apostles and the admonition of our leaders
we will be strengthened and when we bear Testimony we will be the true
witnesses of the Gospel that we are meant to be.

On Becoming Bishop

2010-03-19T15:08:00.000-07:00

To tell you about being called as Bishop I have to tell you about the new Stake Presidency.

We were expecting President Burton to be replaced at our Stake Conference in September and then they finally came out and told us that would happen. I have long thought that our, Bishop Brian Rodriguez, would be a good candidate for a counselor in the new Stake Presidency. He is very active and a doer, has a very good attitude and speak Spanish, which has come in real handy for our ward. In speculating on who the new Stake Presidency would be I Was thinking mainly Ernie Smith or Ron Daw. My very short list for president and counselors included the two above and Mark McDonough and Brian Rodriguez. I have to admit I was kinda leaning toward Ernie Smith in the presidency instead of Brian mainly because I was trying to second guess the process. If asked my choices I would have it just the way it ended up.

However, I expected to be released soon. I have been in the bishopric for 6 years running and a total of 8 years. Brian spoke to me sometime around May or June to see "how I was doing" and gave me the sense that I would likely be released before long without any promises.

For the Saturday evening session of Conference we were fairly early and watched a lot of people come in. Brian and Lisa showed up right before the meeting began. There were seats near us. Whether they saw us or not I don't know. But, they sat further back. After the meeting they were no where to be found. They left very quickly. Sister Daw and two of their daughters sang a musical number during the session. At that time I was pretty sure Ron Daw would be the new Stake President.

I was in the choir seats early for the Sunday morning session and was just watching things happen. I noticed Lisa come in with her family fairly early and secure some places in side benches in the chapel. She stayed standing most of the time looking for Brian and so he could see her when he came in. President Daw was poised with his family on the back row of the chapel right at the head of one of the aisles. It wasn't until about 5 minutes prior to the start of the meeting that the General Authorities and Stake Presidency came in. Right about the same time they came up on the podium Pres. Daw and Bishop Rodriguez came into the meeting from one of the back chapel doors. That's when I was pretty sure what was going on. Still when their names where announced I was somewhat dumbstruck because of the implication for me and our ward. That was 12 September.

Of course I realized that I must be on the short list for the new Bishop. Truthfully, I felt the choice was between me and Paul Brewer who is our High Councilor and a great guy. It may have been part wishful thinking and part denial. But, I was still hoping to be released, especially since I believed I had an advocate on my side in Brian and he could tell the new Stake President how worn out I was. Brian soon told us that it would likely be a while, possibly until after General Conference before we would get our new Bishop.

As a family we haven't been the most consistent with doing all of the family gospel things we are supposed to do. Sporadic temple attendance, inconsistent family prayer and scripture reading and lackluster family home evening compliance describes well our family Gospel habits. For some time going to the temple was a bit of a chore. Years ago we liked to go early on Friday morning. Then we got lazy and didn't want to wake up that early. So we moved like everybody else to Friday Evening. It became so that the huge crowds and traffic hassle would really dampen our spirit or turns us away altogether. The Friday before Stake Conference Lenore I went again early in the morning and it was a much nicer experience. Since then we have tried to go every other week. The family has been much better about family prayer and scripture reading and FHE too, except that if left up to Laney she would say every prayer uttered in our home and the only song we would sing for FHE is "Making Christmas" from the Nightmare Before Christmas.

It's strange how you adjust your life in anticipation of a call. I still wanted to be released. But, I figured if I was going to be the Bishop I'd better be in the right frame of reference for it. The Tuesday night before General Conference the Stake Presidency called about 12/13 of the male leadership of the ward in to interview. Pres. Daw was following the same pattern that had been used to select him as Stake President. In my interview we chatted about the family and work and my past experience in the Church and on my mission. I gave them a short list of three names which consisted of Paul Brewer (our High Councilor), Gary Cooper (our Ward Clerk) and Brent Gardner (our Executive Secretary). I didn't suggest myself or Bob Kirk (Second Counselor) or Kyle Christensen simply because they have both been divorced and I know it is extremely extremely rare for them to call a Bishop who has been divorced (not a widely known bit of Church Policy. Whatever happened to the idea of repentance and forgiveness?) Otherwise I would have put them on my short list. I think the Stake Presidency realized that I knew about this Policy.

I spoke to Paul Brewer the Sunday after these interviews and he told me that as a gesture of kindness he did not suggest my name. I told him I hadn't been so kind to him.

Lenore and I figured they had to make a selection and get First Presidency approval (during the busy run-up to General Conference) and then extend the call. But we also expected them to give the new Bishop some time to consider his counselors and pray about it and go to the temple. So we figured if they were going to do it on 10 October, they would probably call the Bishop the week before, maybe the Saturday or Sunday of GC or maybe Tues or Thurs night after. Sunday after GC I was in the garage and Paul Brewer cam strolling by with his wife. He asked me if I had heard anything or had an interview and told me he hadn't. So we figured we were safe. Then later the senior Bishop in the Stake called me to see if anything had been done about our new Bishop. He was to lead a Stake Bishop's Welfare Council meeting on Tuesday night and wanted to know who should attend. I told him that Brian was still wearing two hats. About an hour later Brian called me to ask me to go to the meeting for him. It seemed to me that was a big indication I would be called. Though as each day went by in that week we started to think it was somebody else and that was for the best. On Friday I left work an hour early so I could take a bike ride on one the last nice days I would ride in a while. Right when I walked in the door the phone was ringing and it was the Stake Executive Secretary. He set up an appointment for me and Lenore on Saturday at 11am with President Daw and President Rodriguez. That's when I was pretty sure what was happening.

All together we met with the Presidents for about two hours. It was great to meet one on one with Pres Daw and feel of his spirit and love. I expect he is a good type and example of our Heavenly Father. The overwhelming love, sincerity and goodness that he bears led me to strive to bring my life in line with what a Bishop ought to be and feel that I could carry out this calling with his training and guidance.

I expected they would send me off to the temple to consider who my counselors should be. Instead they ushered me and Lenore into the High Council Room and gave us a couple of minutes to decide. I didn't want to make changes that would be too disruptive in the ward. I also felt that I should try to pick some people from the older part of the ward (Our little neighborhood of Crown Pointe has about 14 active households and out of those there are 8 with major Stake and Ward leadership positions.) Bob Kirk (the old Second Counselor) was a no brainer as First Counselor. He is diligent and hard working and willing to do whatever. Our old executive secretary is 28 years old, had been in a bishopric before moving into our ward, lives in the older part of the ward, owns his house, has a great wife and was doing a great job as ES so I picked him as my Second Counselor. The only bad thing is he is finishing his MBA and busy with night school many evenings. But, he will be done this spring. Also I figured I needed at least one Counselor who was a potential replacement for me down the road. It was a little tougher to come up with the new Executive Secretary. Fortunately, the weekend of General Conference I downloaded our most up to date membership info for my palm and had that with me. Only two weeks prior a couple had moved back into the ward who had been here some time before. The husband is dad's age. It's a second marriage for both of them. He was widowered from his first wife. His new wife is almost 20 years younger than him, had lived in our ward for years, was divorced many years ago and is a really great sister who teaches at Westminster College. They met at the temple and married a couple of years ago. I noticed him the Sunday they came back to our ward and his name pretty quickly floated to the top of the list of names I was considering. They also live in the older part of the ward. All of these selections, of course were made with Lenore's input, the Lord's inspiration and confirmation.

Sunday morning President Daw called at 6am. My first instinct was he was having second thoughts. He told me they had verbal authorization from the First Presidency to call me. But, he got the official letter on Saturday and just opened it early Sunday morning. I am the first Bishop he has put in so he doesn't have a lot of prior experience in doing this. He just wanted to make sure I had never been divorced or disfellowshipped or excommunicated. Other than the divorce thing I figured the First Presidency ought to have record of any disciplinary action. Maybe they just like the Stake Presidents to double check. The Sunday meetings were interesting with all sorts of people trying to guess what was going to happen and prying for information. The Smith's came to Sacrament meeting. But, showed up discretely late and I'm not sure many people connect them with us. So, I don't think that was any big clue. There was a sweet spirit in attendance and I felt confirmation of the whole thing and that the Lord had helped me choose to right counselors.

I was sure I couldn't do this without changing my attitude some. The meeting I had with President Daw when the call was issued, the ordination and setting apart and the "mantle" all help immensely as well as the love and support that I felt immediately from the ward members. It is not unlike serving a mission. You have to make sure you do the things that will allow the presence of the spirit. I don't think you can be a Bishop without all of these things. It is too much of a burden and "job". The family has responded well. I think it has helped Laney as we have adopted a more spiritual routine in the household. There has generally been a better spirit amongst parents and children. It may be hard to keep this. But, we will do what we can.

18 Nov 2004

Fun Facebook Thread

2009-11-10T10:20:00.000-08:00

Here.

Prop 8 Thread

2009-11-10T10:18:00.000-08:00

Steven Barringer Steven Barringer I was shocked to read recently on the blog of an LDS person that a Mormon can't oppose Proposition 8 (or other anti-same sex marriage laws) AND be in good standing. Funny, if it weren't so self righteous. And judgmental (and therefore a sin). And wrong. I am just as MO as you are, and I (and many others) disagree. It is wrong to seek to enact Mormon rules into state and federal law. November 3 at 12:44am · Comment · Like / Unlike 3 people like this.
Todd Lillywhite Steve, You and I are on opposite ends of several political issues. That bothers me a little because I expect at some point we will be more united in heart and mind. As I understand it the Prophet asked us to support the efforts in favor of Prop 8. I can allow for someone to privately and quietly struggle with that. But, open vocal disagreement/conflict with that request would put me in a very uncomfortable place. November 3 at 9:39am ·
Wanda Weddington Setzer If you can't oppose anti-same sex laws, then you must support anti-same sex laws, which means you oppose same sex laws? I'm having trouble with semantics and I've had all the coffee I need for today. I'm not worried about which way you think, I'm just trying to figure out which way that is. Do you still abstain from caffeine? Give me a few more years and I'll be with you. November 3 at 10:51am
Gail Keener Croom Tell em...........Steven......love you and miss you....... November 3 at 2:54pm
Steven Barringer Todd: why should it bother you that we disagree about politics? There is nothing fundamental about the doctrines of the Church that dictates our views on political issues. The Church takes great pains to be politically neutral, not only for the obvious reasons (tax-exemptions), but because there is nothing inherently liberal or conservative about Mormon doctrine. If anything, it is the real and enduring values of Christianity that should create a working atmostphere of fellowship and good will between us, and from there should facilitate our efforts to understand one another on the political issues about which we disagree. The Church leadership wrote California Mormons and asked them to support Proposition 8, and noted that the Church's doctrines on marriage are unequivocal. No Church leader has ever written to me, or to my ward or stake leaders, on this subject. No such leader has ever asked me to do anything about same-sex marriage generally or Proposition 8 specifically. I realize that might happen in the future.... Read more... Read More When and if it does, I have to face several important questions: (1) I have to explore whether I agree? I have always been taught that Church leaders have access to divine inspiration, and so I take seriously anything they say. However, it's another question whether ultimately I agree with it. Whether I agree depends on my exercise of my own free agency, the most precious legacy I have from God. Just doing it, or believing it, because one or more General Authorities said so, is an abdication of that free agency. (2) Am I required to agree? The answer to this question is pretty clear, in my opinion. I am clearly expected to keep the commandments. But this kind of direction from Church leaders is not a commandment. Nothing about Church doctrine or practice requires me to comply with it, or agree with it. I accept as an endowed Member of the Church that the Church has jurisdiction over my actions; it has however no jurisdiction whatsoever over my thoughts, and none over my expressed opinions unless they cross certain clear lines. (3) Is my disagreement with the Church's position about the doctrine of marriage, or about the Church's involvement in the governmental regulation of marriage arrangements in the United States? This is by far the hardest question for me to answer. This question torments me because of a dear close friend who suffered enormously while he sorted through this issue. I am no scientist, and my experiences with gay friends do not constitute a statistically significant sample upon which any conclusions can be based. But I know and have known many gay Mormons (and non-Mormons), some now deceased. Whatever is the basis of same-sex attraction (nature, nurture or both), I know in my heart and mind, from living with mission companions and other friends, that feeling same gender attraction is not a choice. Nobody asks to be presented with this kind of heart-wrenching life choice. Knowing that with absolute certainty, I then wonder if we know, and if Church leaders have received, all available truth on this matter? I doubt it. Clearly, the views of Church leaders have evolved dramatically since President Kimball disparaging described homosexuality (presumably not just the behavior but also the feelings) as an evil scourge. Church leaders no longer counsel men with same sex attraction to submit to "aversion therapy" or to get married as a solution, though these were common solutions as recently as 20 years ago. Equally clearly, church leaders are not entirely agreed in their public statements (or their private deliberations) on the nature of same sex attraction. Are some inspired, and others not? If Elder X says that same-gender attraction may be genetically influenced, but Elder Y says that gay DNA is a Satan-inspired fiction, which statement must I accept as inspired? The answer is neither, and fortunately I don't need an answer right now. I reserve my judgment on this matter, and have the luxury of thinking, praying, and continuing to listen while leaders seek inspiration for the purposes of ministering to people who struggle with these issues. In contrast, I am very clear on the government issue. This was a decision of strategy by Church leaders. I claim no particular insight into how the Church made the decision to rally California Mormons, but I do know that it was long debated, and that there is still not complete consensus among general authorities on doing this, or doing it in the future. I feel that it's a mistake for the Church to use its power to attempt to influence the outcome of state and federal legislative efforts to address this issue. I understand that the Church has every right to do so, but I disagree with the Church doing it. I think it's a terrible idea. There are many people who will never accept and listen to Mormon missionaries, no matter what the Church does or doesn't do. But there are also a huge number of people -- middle of the road people, some of whom probably oppose same sex marriage -- who close their minds to what the Church has to offer because of the role the Church has taken (one great family of investigators in my ward right now; this is their biggest hangup about the Church). Organized church power in politics makes Americans very nervous, and with good reason. I don't want to be told that I have to pray like a Baptist, or that I have to accept the application of Sharia law in areas of the country where Muslims are becoming significant minorities, and may someday achieve majority. Similarly, I don't think most people want to be told that the laws of California, of any other state, or of the nation, have to be consistent with Mormon religious precepts because Mormons mobilized and voted that way. That's why so many of the "allies" in California on Proposition 8 will never vote for Mitt Romney, or any other Mormon, for President. It's one thing if a majority of Californians votes for Proposition 8; it's another thing if that effort is perceived to have been (or was in fact) financed and orchestrated by the Mormon Church. We have nothing to gain, and much to lose. We can maintain our doctrines and the strongly held beliefs of our members without attempting in organized fashion to impose these as the law of the land. I've gone further than necessary to provide a civil and thoughtful response to your post. But I feel strongly about this, as I know you do. I don't expect or desire that you change your mind to agree with me. However, I do enjoy saying (and say so again), that I can and do disagree with you, and yet I claim access to and blessings from the same religious entitlements and institutions you do. Some day, we may indeed learn about this issue that you are right, and I am wrong. It may be proved that I've reached the wrong conclusions (about the government issue/I've reached none about the more basic issues). But I don't think a just God will punish me for agonizing about it, as I have, or for my principled disagreement with other Mormons on this subject. That's democracy, and I do believe democracy is inspired, and that we can engage in it within the Church too. It's OK if we disagree, and OK to be a dissenter; in fact, we should fear the day that no Mormon feels free to do so. That, in my opinion, is how we can both be active practitioners in the same religious tradition while having little in common as politics goes. November 3 at 4:16pm
Todd Lillywhite Wow, give me a minute (day maybe) to digest this. :) November 3 at 4:24pm ·
Robbi Stamey Grayson Steve I am an Episcopalian, and we stand on a three legged stool. The faith of reason, that first being the love of God and Christ and the holy spirit and reason as it relates to the Bible, love of our fellow man, and faith in God and Christ. I honor love and I practice forgiveness. Is your faith any differnet? If not why should we be left or right... Read More politically? We have got to come together. I do love you, my Mormon friend. I never saw you as Mormon or my other friends as Christian or Jewish.. Isn't it about love and what God wants for us as a world, not a nation? November 3 at 5:39pm
Carolyn Malquist As someone who lived in California duirng the Prop. 8 election, most people I know had to do some real soul searching before making the choice to support Prop. 8 or not. For some it came down to a belief in supporting the prophet, but for other, they felt that they could not agree with the church on this issue. Whatever the choice, my ... Read Moreunderstanding is that the letter sent from the church specifically stated that this issue was NOT to have anything to do with a person's standing in the church. In my ward there were a number of people that were major supporters of both sides and all of them are still coming to church. As to what will happen in the future... November 3 at 7:59pm
Steven Barringer One of my favorite things about Facebook: provoking a discussion about important things, and enjoying the ensuing back and forth among friends that is powered by intellect and kept within bounds by good will. Robbi: I love the Episcopal Church, and if I didn't have a grounding in my own religious tradition, I would be drawn to your Church. It ... Read Moreseems the rarest of things to me: an old institution that manages in many ways to embrace change rather than to resist it. Most organizations are by their nature conservative and resistant to change, especially as they get older. I think American governments, state and federal, have to be vigilant about remaining independent from the influence of any religion: mine, yours, or anybody else's. Strangely, my experience with my fellow Mormons, especially those that grew up in Utah or elsewhere in the West where they are a majority, is that they don't appreciate the importance of this separation of Church from State. As you know, I grew up in North Carolina, where I was always the only Mormon in my grade. Even after the Supreme Court ruled that prayer in schools violated the Constitution, I was required to attend Bible classes and say or participate in prayers presided over by (mostly) Baptist, Lutheran or Presbyterian Bible teachers. They were nice people, but some of them think that Mormons are devil worshipers, or that we aren't Christians, or any number of other canards. Why should I be forced to sit in a public school and be taught about somebody else's religion by people who disparage my own? That's why I oppose my own Church's occasional forays into politics. It should stay away from endorsing candidates, choosing sides in political disputes, etc. Usually it does, focusing instead on encouraging members to be active in politics, to vote, and to seek to elect good leaders. November 4 at 2:20pm
Steven Barringer Carolyn: Nice to see you pop up in my pot-stirring on Facebook. I note (with approval) that you didn't say how you came out on Proposition 8. Good for you. I don't really care; I'm more interested in your report about how good people in your ward ended up on both sides. That's the Church I recognize; not one that dictates to its members how to participate in the political system. November 4 at 2:22pm
Steven Barringer Wanda: you've confused me with some other Mormon you met, or maybe with a fictional Mormon. I always drank caffeine, just not coffee or tea. Coca-Cola ran from the faucets in my house growing up. It's a myth that Mormons can't drink Coke (although many Mormons themselves believe the myth). November 4 at 2:25pm
Todd Lillywhite ... day or two or three later: Thank you for your thoughtful treatment of this issue. It is clear that you have approached this with deliberation and respect. I think it is possible that we differ more not on our views of the Church's role in politics but on the role of politics in the world. Since you are much more involved in the political world than I am, you may have a more pragmatic view of its scope and purpose. I am somewhat of a true believer. I see politics as needing to work within a framework of absolute rights and wrongs, not just expediency. This view, while it allows me to accept the occasional foray by the Church into the political arena, may really be not very practical. My being distant from WA DC and things political may make it harder for me to see the greyness of issues.... Read More I can understand your torment over the issue of whether or not the Church should insinuate itself into this debate. This is your most conciliatory point. I don't think a just God will punish you for agonizing about this. You may well be right that the Church should not interfere in this issue in such an official manner. Especially, if one only considers temporal consequences, it is pretty easy to accept that the Church's present track may be the wrong one to follow. As far as the Establishment clause is concerned, I don't see that as a problem. But, I'm not a Supreme Court Justice. Our path as a nation over the years has taken us from a fairly religious society to a quasi-aggressive secularism. I don't like the direction that arrow is pointing. There is nothing wrong with, in fact I would expect a person's religion to inform, inspire, empassion their political views and debate. It is possible that at some point in the future the Church leadership will decide to abandon fighting this battle outside the Church membership and retrench within the Church, a sort of isolationist approach to the world. If such occurs I don't imagine I will have much difficulty accepting that decision. But, since one of our mandates is to spread the Gospel, the Church may never take that step. I don't really see our stand on this issue as damaging to our missionary efforts. It just makes our message cut with a finer edge. I also don't know what the answer is to the cause of homosexuality. There are many answers, among them nature, nurture, abuse, early sexualization, environment (biological and physical/social), promiscuity, pornography, choice and just plain old imperfect nature to name a few. A lot of those factors help me to be less than who I should be as well. I do think it is wrong for people to take one of their many identifying traits and make it their only or most prominent identifying trait. For now I see this struggle as pitting homosexuality against the family. On the one hand we have an absolute and moral sin and on the other a God-given eternal and society benefiting institution. In the quest for societal relevance the gay movement seeks to marginalize religion and family. That is wrong. Lastly, on the topic of Agency, allow me to share with you something I have observed. I have thought a lot about this topic, especially as it relates to establishing or upholding laws that have huge moral implications. I may be mildly guilty of adapting my model to fit a desired conclusion. Nonetheless, I think there is something valuable to learn from the observation. Whenever, we discuss Agency we focus on choice and coercion. While these may be valid points to consider, I think just as equally valid are the principles of absolute right and wrong and affixing a fitting punishment to laws and allowing the natural consequences to follow the violation of laws. This last one is possibly the most overlooked aspect of the concept of Agency. Choice: each of us is born into a different situation or environment. I have many more opportunities than someone born in Upper Volta. None of us is/was guaranteed the full smorgasbord of choices. Coercion doesn't matter to the coerced, only to the coercer. The coerced won't be hurt or benefited for being coerced. Establishing laws around God's moral absolutes, enforcing those laws, applying punishment for their infraction, is exactly how God works in shaping our behavior. Lately, Satan has worked studiously in the camp of denying or removing accountability and consequences. His big lie is that we will not be punished (ye shall not surely die). What he really means is that it will appear to you that you will get away with sin for the time being. This was Cain's great secret and discovery (I am master Mahan). Not only does he teach that we can avoid or delay the consequences of our actions. But, he teaches that we can actually get ahead and prosper by sinning. However, there will always be the eternal consequences. He thwarts the plan of Agency better when we don't get punished because not only have we made one bad choice but we will think it doesn't matter if we make another. If we do anything right in this conflict it is that we don't allow people to believe there are no consequences to their sins. November 6 at 9:28am ·
Steven Barringer Todd: I really appreciate this response. I found it inspiring, and need to read it over several more times before I respond in detail. But I want you to know how much I enjoyed it. I do see politics somewhat differently; I am not sure why. In a democracy, politics is by its nature the business of compromise, and therefore it leaves a lot of ... Read Morepeople unsatisfied with the results. It recalls that old cliche that politics is like sausage: you don't want to know what went into it. Based on my limited experience, I think this is really more true than not. But I think we have to see and appreciate our political tradition in the context from which it emerged. Not too far in the past, the colossal conflicts we work through in our political system were resolved through murder and civil war. The genius of our system (in my opinion) is the division of power into three, and then the further division and delegation of that power to elected and appointed representatives. Abuse of power is inevitable, in my opinion, but our system places some limit on the damage that can be done. Though this may sound like pragmatism, for me it represents a new kind of idealism that I have about our government and its strengths. Thanks for checking in and adding your comments; I really appreciate it. To do them justice, I'm going to read and think, and get back to you (possibly in chapters), as you did with me. Sat at 1:01am
Steven Barringer Ron: Sat at 1:05am
Todd Lillywhite Yes, back when I studied it, I learned that Political Science is really the moderation between the real and the ideal. We all mostly want the same things. We don't all agree on how to get there. Sat at 9:18am ·
Ron Payne Sorry for the misunderstanding Steve. I typed above; "Can you remain in good standing and oppose prop 8? I say yes but define good standing". what I was trying to say that I think you can oppose prop 8 and be a "member in good standing". Also wanted to understand what that definition is "of good standing is. If "member in good standing" ... Read Morepertains to the Temple worthiness questions, obviously Prop 8 is not a question pertaining. I was not trying to imply you prefer anything, just state what I prefer. I've known you a long time and respect you too much. Sat at 4:10pm
Nathan Kendig Todd--I appreciate much of what you posted, but I have a disagreement with your statement on coercion. I agree with you that those who have been coerced to behave neither benefit nor are hurt by their being coerced. But then you immediately follow by saying that this is how God works, he establishes laws, applies punishment, and shapes behavior... Read More. I think we are taught otherwise, and I think specifically in 2nd Nephi we learn that we are left to act for ourselves and not to be acted upon. To me, this means that our disobedience isn't always met with immediate punishment to prod us back onto the right track. Just as making correct decisions isn't immediately met with blessings poured down on us and the "all clear" to our problems. I wouldn't support laws that force people to act in accordance with Mormon rules. One must excercise agency in the decision to be obedient. In the case of Gay Marriage and Prop 8, I disagree that the law is an enactment of Mormon rules--I think it's entirely valid that a free people can define the norms in their society. Sun at 5:21pm
Todd Lillywhite Nathan, I think I could have been clearer. My point is that we don't understand "coercion." Establishing laws and enforcing them and carrying out punishment must not qualify as "coercion" or "force" because thats what God does to shape our behavior. The power to act for ourselves is influenced by just laws. But it isn't forced or removed because of laws. Yesterday at 12:09pm

Jens Trek Letter 2008

2008-09-10T13:07:00.001-07:00

19 May 2008

Dearest Jens:

I am glad that you are taking advantage of this second chance to enjoy a Trek experience. I am not sure you need to learn or will learn anything different than the first time. But, I expect and hope that your faith will be deepened and your appreciation of our great pioneers will be enhanced even more.

At this time, you can't know how this will benefit your life and the life of others. But, know that anything we do to sacrifice or honor or obey, will be accounted for good and your offering will be acceptable to the Lord.

You will have great fun on this trip. I hope you will also take some quiet time to listen to the echoes and words of encouragement, that you will notice the hints and traces of those on the other side of the veil who have gone on before and those who still stand to gain from your being firmly planted in the Gospel sod.

I think you know my testimony. It is simple: that God lives and his Son Jesus Christ is the Savior of mankind, the Holy One of Israel who died for us, was lifted up literally and figuratively, so that he would occupy the most prominent place in our view. This is his Church and Gospel.

I love you and hope the world for you.

Your father and brother,

2008-06-30T11:05:00.000-07:00

Gerns Wedding Talk

2007-04-30T15:11:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon, and welcome to this, the marriage of David Gerns and Elizabeth Lillywhite.

We are gathered here today to celebrate one of the oldest and most important institutions in human society; the union of a man and a woman in marriage. It is this institution which allows individuals to continue to grow and expand their horizons by uniting themselves to someone with similar goals and ambitions. It is this union which provides a stable atmosphere for us to bring children into the world and to nurture them with the love of a father and a mother. It is this union which provides the means whereby society itself can continue to preserve its culture, traditions and values.

Marriage consists of entrusting our deepest selves into the loving care of another. It is a public and legal act, but it is even more so a private and spiritual act. Just as the public aspect of marriage is a thing that is demonstrated on a daily basis, so should the spiritual aspect of marriage. A couple who is legally and lawfully wed should continually renew their spiritual commitment to one another through daily acts of consideration, kindness and love. By so doing, they purify themselves individually, uplift one another as a couple, and discover what I believe is the greatest joy a person can know.

As stated by Sir John Bowring: "A happy family is but an earlier Heaven." Your most profound happiness can be found within your commitment to one another and to the children who may follow. I have experienced this myself, and can assure you that the happiest and most satisfying moments of my life have come within the framework of my family.

That being said, we must also be aware that there are many challenges to happiness in marriage. The cares of the world and the need to function within society will sometimes create stress which might be brought into the home. The physical nature of our bodies may occasionally wear us down and make us less patient and tolerant. Your constant interaction with one another will provide opportunities for discussion and occasional disagreements. Although these challenges and many others may come to you in your married life, they can be assimilated and overcome if you remember a few important things.

Never, ever, go to bed angry. Any problem or issue between you should not be allowed to fester, but should be addressed promptly and resolved without animosity. Doing this requires that we put the interests of our spouse and of our marriage ahead of our own sometimes. If you are patient, if you are kind, and most of all, if you are selfless, you will find that the rewards that come your way through united happiness are far greater than any seeming sacrifice that you will make.

Make your spouse the most important thing in your life. We all have hobbies or outside interests and these are good things. But, these outside interests should never take precedence over our spouses. Rather, they should be the kinds of things that make us better people for our spouses. Keep foremost in your mind who is the center of your universe and demonstrate it by your daily actions.

Remember what brought you to this point. As you courted each other, you did certain things which brought you closer together. Once you are legally married, the courtship should not come to an end. Continue to say and do those little things that will make your spouse happy. Continue to bring one another flowers or tokens of affection. Continue to date on a regular basis. Make your marriage a long and loving courtship.

And now the time has come for which we are all gathered here today.

Please take each other by the right hand.

Missy

2006-03-13T09:10:00.000-08:00

Becca

2006-03-13T09:09:00.000-08:00

Britty

2006-03-13T09:08:00.000-08:00

Ailsa's Story

2006-01-22T20:33:00.000-08:00

The Cost of Diamonds

“Turn back, turn back, thou pretty bride, within this house thou must not bide, for here do evil things betide...” The bird’s warning, Robber Bridegroom, Grimm Fairy Tales.

The diamond gleamed on Annabel’s finger, as the only thing in her sight that wasn’t drab and grey. The old woman had a tragic life behind these smoke-damaged trailer walls. Nothing had been kind or gentle to Annabel, save her mother, who had long since left this world.

Annabel’s children had all died young, their hopeless father drank himself to death, while she regretted the choices she’d made.

Her gnarled, arthritic hands clumsily groped around inside the closet for her coat, intending to make her weekly trip to the convenience store a half a mile down the road. Her back ached as she shakily draped her coat over her shoulders.

Annabel’s eye caught the ring again. It seemed to sing with all that twinkling.

It was not Annabel’s wedding ring. It wasn’t hers at all. She had found this ring when she was ten years old and had kept it ever since, as if wearing it for any number of years would make the precious stone forget its true owner.

For the tiniest moment Annabel’s frown twitched upward and in her mind she saw the woods in fall. The leaves crunched under her bare feet, for in her fantasy she was a girl again. The prettiest little dimpled girl that anyone had ever seen, her ringlets tied back, with that beautiful red ribbon.

The vision faded and a dreary sight met Annabel, from the porch of her double-wide home. A dog barked, something collided with a chain link fence and in the distance she heard a siren.

Annabel staggered out into the world and made it all the way to the bus stop, before she had to stop and rest her old bones on the graffiti-tagged bench.

A magpie landed beside her.

Annabel looked warily at the bird, automatically she closed her quavering fist and covered the ring. “It may not be mine, but it certainly ain’t yours!” she snapped at the magpie.

The animal seemed indignant, as it flapped away from the bus stop.

A familiar guilty feeling clouded her head.

In the forest there were lots of birds… Annabel used to search for nests while she played there.

Golden light tinged the red ribbon that fluttered over Annabel’s shoulder. Her eyes absorbed her surroundings. The forest floor dipped and twisted about the towering trees, the ground was the frozen waves of a vast ocean of leaves. The colors were unforgettable, blushing pinks and oranges, deep ruby reds and glittering gold tones complimented the dusk-colored fantasy land that Annabel had all to herself.

It was a place she returned to in her mind. The abrupt contrast of a rich warm bed of nature and the sharp, cold, crying life her fairy-land had developed into, was so profound that Annabel felt sure that this place couldn’t possibly have been as wonderful as she remembered. Surely, her mind had invented her childhood. How could such a perfect life disintegrate so severely?

Little Annabel had seen another nest… It was low enough that she could climb up and peek inside to see if the bird had any eggs.

Annabel brushed the red ribbon from her eyes and nestled herself down on the low branch with her little feet dangling above the ground. The nest was a work of art, each twig was set with care, to last. She admired the bird’s work. Her eyes soon found the two eggs, cuddling together, between them, something gleamed.

Curiously, Annabel dipped her hand into the nest and felt her delicate fingers close around the diamond. She lifted the jeweled ring in front of her eyes and gazed at it lovingly.

Annabel thought to herself that it wasn’t hers… she should put it back. She had little hope of ever owning a real diamond.

Her breath was back, the old woman returned to her tired feet and hobbled down the road, but her destination had changed. Up ahead, she could see a wooded area, perhaps the last of the vast forest that she had known as a girl. She fiddled with the ring, tears beaded her eyes as a sad memory struck her. She had been right to think that this secret treasure was the closest she would ever come to owning fine jewelry.

“It was never mine,” her voice shook, “…I should give it back.”

She had repeated those words to herself many times, but tonight, ready to die from exhaustion, she felt she should finally return the ring.

The journey was so much longer than Annabel had remembered as a child, it gave her time to remember all her regrets and pains, from the most recent, to the ancient injuries. She recalled everything that she wished she could change...

A road cut a vast scar right through the middle of what had once been the thickest part of the forest, many of the trees had been chopped down, the frigid night air made Annabel gather her coat around her.

Annabel looked up ahead, she could see the tree’s branches towering above all the rest, like a temple in the center of a village.

The old nest was still perched right where she remembered it. Annabel wrapped her shaking hands over the coarse bark, and pulled. At first she was afraid she didn’t have the strength, the ring twinkled. The effort made her dizzy, but she managed to hoist herself onto the branch.

Her feet dangled again. Her left slipper fell to the forest floor, so she kicked off her right as well. She removed the ring, and gingerly placed it between two nestled eggs, and uttered an apology that was muffled to obscurity by the wind.

The red ribbon fluttered into sight, the sheen of it caught the golden light of dusk, little Annabel curled her toes and smiled down at the nest, before letting herself slip from the branch.

“Annie,”

She turned and rushed forward, hugging her mother tightly around the middle. Her white apron was warm from the sunset.

“What did you find today?”

“I found a treasure... but I put it back,” little Annabel slipped her hand into her mother’s and began to lead her back home, “It wasn't mine.”

Some Old "Portfolio" Photos

2005-10-25T08:31:00.000-07:00

Christmas Letters Archive

2005-07-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

Italy June 2002

2005-06-16T20:29:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful family adventure in the Spring of 2002. My mission reunion committee has organized reunions every three years for some time. Somehow when we moved to Salt Lake I was roped into this committee. Several years ago it was suggested that we plan to have the 2002 meeting in Italy, as a sort of 25 year reunion. I wasn't real keen on the idea. But also wasn't averse enough to object.

We decided that if we were to go, we would have to take the whole family, thereby compounding the cost and difficulty of the trip.

A couple of years ago we viewed the movie "Enchanted April". (If you haven't seen it you should.) Thank goodness that Lenore and I were of the same mind that our Italian vacation should be similar to that, less sightseeing, and more relaxation and immersion in the culture. We often joked that any trip to Italy for us would be an eating visit not a tourist visit.

One great help in making arrangements for the activities in Italy was that in June of 2001 the new mission president was called and he was one of "our" missionaries. He placed his assistants at our disposal to help make arrangements in loco. The reunion activities involved the weekend of 14 - 16 June. Plans for the reunion were publicized in Italy among the church members and posted on the mission website.

About six weeks prior to our departure I received an e-mail message from a long lost friend, Liliana Casiraghi, from my BYU days. She is an Italian who married a French member, Pierre Tromeur. We were in the Italian House program together during my senior year and we were a cooking/dishwashing team. She offered to let us stay with them. They live in a little town near Como called Monguzzo.

We were overjoyed at their kind offer and very glad to have such a nice base of operations for part of our stay and have some of our plans taken care of.

We were somewhat apprehensive about the rigors of air travel with almost two-year old Laney and dragging everyone all over NW Italy. But, everyone did real well. Laney even received many compliments for what was usually good behavior on the plane.

The plane ride was absolutely the worst part. Lenore and I are sure that we could design the space in airplanes to fit just as many passengers and allow them to be more comfortable. I'm sure Yeager and Rutan when they flew nonstop around the world in Voyager were more accommodated. From NYC to Milan we were on the back row of the aircraft. So my seat would only recline about 2cm. I could not get comfortable enough to sleep. Lenore had Laney sleeping on her lap. I wanted to lay my head down on top of Laney and Lenore would not have it. I was quite frustrated about it until at a certain point I just decided that was how it was going to be and then I was fine, relatively.

Pierre picked us up at Malpensa airport outside Milan. I wasn't certain I would recognize him. But, I spotted him right off. Malpensa was much the same, except no armed military on the tarmac. We saw them later in the terminal.

Pierre drove us to their home in Monguzzo in their new Fiat Multipla (two rows of three bucket seats, two sunroofs). We grew very fond of this car. We had considered renting our own car to get around. Liliana discouraged us for various reasons. After riding home with Pierre, I realized it would have been a nightmare to try to drive, park, find our way in Italy. The ride was wild enough that Laney threw up three times on the way home. I think after that first time Pierre settled down some and Laney was fine on all the other rides.

The Tromeurs live in a very nice townhome about 2000 square feet on 4 levels with underground parking and a nice yard (fairly unusual for Italians). They were so gracious. We tried to accommodate and allow them to do for us everything they planned. They fed us like kings, vacated their own bedrooms and put up with Laney vomiting in their new car as they drove us all over. Everywhere we went we were amazed at the hospitality of the Italians.

Pierre hails from Britany and he and Liliana have given their children Gaelic names: Gael (boy), Gwenaelle (girl), and Glenn (girl).

We were told that the best way to conquer jet lag is, at all costs, to stay awake the first day and hold off sleep until regular bedtime in loco. In order to accomplish this all we did once we arrived at about noon was sit in the back yard and chat. I think it would have been impossible to do anything else. Once we made it over this first hurdle we fell into a normal rhythm fairly easily.

We had planned our second day to visit Lake Como since we were so close. When we woke up that first morning in Monguzzo, Lenore said she felt impressed that we should go to Cremona, where I spent my last nine months. Our "plans", as they were, had excluded a trip to Cremona. So Pierre drove us the short distance to the train station in Merone. So we could make train connections to Cremona.

We hit Italy right at the beginning of the World Cup Soccer tournament. As I was dressing, putting on a nice polo shirt that I bought at Candilora's shop (our neighbor) for $5, I thought "this looks like a soccer jersey". When I went to the ticket window at the train station the first thing the teller said was "Forza Milan" and I understood that the shirt was a near dead-ringer for the jersey of one of the soccer teams in Milan.

A lot of the trains in Italy have been around a long time. It was the older and more unluxurious trains that we took to Cremona. I think Laney liked the train rides because there were no baby car seats or restraints of any kind.

I remember Italy being hot and humid in the summer. But, it was unspeakably hot and humid when we were there. They were having a heat wave. The week before we arrived there were great rainstorms and flooding. We saw no rain while we were in Italy. I had forgotten what it was like to live in a humid zone. It had been 13 years since we lived in Washington DC. After living in Utah for years anything, even California, seems humid. I think Italy is even more humid than Washington, DC. My complexion at age 19-21 is not worth remembering. But, now my face seemed to enjoy the humidity. Although you walk around with a dewy glow all the time (it takes a little getting used to) my complexion enjoyed a clarity that I haven't seen in some time. The weather also had a marked effect on Ailsa's hair. It is quite thick and somewhat curly. She likes straightening it and it looks quite nice when she does. A flat iron in Italy would have been of no use. She walked around just one step short of dreadlocks the whole time.

On the way to Cremona when we were going from train to metro at Stazione Centrale in Milan, we poked our heads out of the station so I could show everyone the Pirelli building and the damage done by the recent plane crash. Liliana and Pierre told us that for the first few hours after the crash they had no idea what was going on and of course it was easy to imagine the worst, that it was a terrorist act like 911. Thank goodness it wasn't. From Milan to Cremona we had to change trains in a cute little town called Treviglio. The train station was probably fairly typical for a small town: two platforms, a small station building with a bar next door and a little fountain with coi fish. We bought a lemon fanta and shared it while waiting for our train and Laney entertained herself with the fish.

It took me a couple of times to get used to the train fare age groups. Quite by accident and mainly because I was very rushed buying the tickets at the electronic biglietteria I purchased 2 full fares and 2 kid fares (Laney is free). We realized once we got on the train that Ailsa needed a full fare ticket (I think the price changes at age 12). Sure enough the ticket man came around so I explained my mistake and he let me off without a fine. We didn't bother to try to gain his favor by letting him know that we had just come from Merone to Milan and I had mistakenly purchased 4 full fare tickets for that trip when I didn't need to. I imagine the fine would be at least $30 or so and the difference between full fare and kids is only about 1-2 Euros depending on the distance of the trip.

A note about the monetary system and the exchange rate. One Euro was roughly equivalent to one dollar. This was very convenient for Americans and much better than dealing with Lira that had exchanged for anywhere from 700 to 2500 to the dollar during the previous 25 years.

Most of my dreams about Italy since my mission have centered in Cremona. So in my imagination I know Cremona like the back of my hand. But dreams distort. Lenore asked me if I would recognize the train station when we got there. She wanted to anticipate it as much as possible so as to avoid having to rush off the train at the last moment. For some reason I was expecting the station to be a terminus. This is silly because only the stations in the biggest cities are termini. So of course when we arrived in Cremona we didn't realize it until we saw the station sign and had to rush off the train. It wasn't until I got out in front of the station that I started to recognize things. Later, when waiting to leave the city, the platform area started to look familiar to me.

We got on a bus headed where we wanted to go and when things weren't looking familiar I asked a man to let us know when we got to Parco Roma. The next stop was a park and he indicated we should get off. I could tell it was a park. But, nothing looked familiar. I was completely disoriented and lost. We had to walk all the way through the park to the other side before I got my bearings. It didn't help that the trees and shrubs had grown a lot in 23 years.

I showed the family where the LDS church had been. The humble storefront, onetime butcher shop that served as the seat of the little branch over which I presided. There is no branch currently in Cremona. I believe over the years it has been opened and closed again more than once.

We had a very nice lunch at an open-air restaurant only about 30 feet from the old church. I think this was the same restaurant that during my mission stay in Cremona was well known for a yummy gelato treat they made. It was tangerine gelato served in the shell of a tangerine skin with the top cut off and the fruit scooped out. Italy was playing Mexico in the world cup so the restaurateurs pretty much left us to our own. After our meal, we walked through the narrow carless streets to the cathedral square. We had our first of many (we probably bought more than $100 worth during the whole vacation) tastes of delicious Italian ice cream at the shop right across from the bell tower. After a couple of days I realized that they must make their coffee ice cream starting with real espresso rather than just the flavoring (as we Mormons like to imagine they do here in the U.S.) I had to change my flavor selection because I was walking around with a caffeine headache.

Other wonderful flavors of gelato that we found: chocolate (of course), nocciola (hazelnut), pistachio (one of Lenore's favorites), crema (sort of like vanilla), liqurizia (licorice-didn't try it but I'm sure it's good), creme caramel (only found this in Portofino, very tasty), and puffo (found this only in Santa Margherita), minty flavor, electric blue, once Jensen tried it, that's all she wanted.

We showed the kids the bell tower. While on my mission they had it open for tours one day so we climbed the top. It is currently under renovation so all we could do is look. It is the tallest tower of unreinforced masonry in Europe. Next door on the piazza is the Cathedral, built in the 1260's. I had forgotten how large and impressive that building is. It seems exceptionally large for a smallish town like Cremona. I'm glad it was the first one for the kids to see. Although it is not terribly well lighted inside or nearly as ornate as the one in Bergamo.

One thing I noticed in each of the Cathedrals was a marble wall plaque engraved with the lineage/line of authority of the Bishop or presiding authority for that city or cathedral. The earliest dates on most of these went back to the 300's. But they would also have people listed even earlier without dates. The information included death dates. I wondered if anyone had done the temple work for them. I took pictures of several of these. But, in the low light none of them turned out.

We had arrived in town about the time that the midday break began. Many shops were closed and so was the Cathedral. A lot of people were watching the soccer game and you could hear cheers ring through the town whenever something good would happen. During this quiet time we just wandered around the square looking at monuments to the great people of the town and those fallen in war.

We didn't bring any travelers checks because we were told that ATM's were all over the place and credit cards are widely accepted. We found this to be true. We never had any trouble finding machines, getting cash, or using credit cards. (Twice at train stations I was not able to use a credit/debit card.) One fun and convenient innovation we got to use was an automated machine for buying train tickets with a credit card or ATM card

In most cases this saved us the time of having to stand in line. the first time I used it however I only had about five minutes to buy our tickets and it was a little stressful. There were other times when I was in a hurry and waiting for an open machine and people were taking forever. It was also nice to be able to look up train schedules on the Internet. We looked up some before we left. But when we arrived in Monguzzo we found that some of the information we had wasn't correct because there's more than one outfit that runs the trains and in the north it was a different company.

We took about 600 Euros cash with us because we needed to pay for the apartment in Santa Margherita with cash. So we had to keep looking for ATMs to make sure we didn't run out of cash or dip into our rent money.

We set out looking for the Stradivarius museum that I had never visited on my mission. I asked one or two people where it was. We had trouble finding anybody who knew exactly. Eventually we got directions and walked over to the building. When we got there we found that the exhibit had moved. But, it was just around the corner. When we eventually found the exhibit, I recognized the building as one I had seen when I was a missionary. In fact I have a picture of the building and we taught a lesson to a man in an apartment building nearby. I remembered him showing us the building from his balcony. There were some really neat statues and gargoyle type figures around the top of the building as I remember it. Unfortunately they were doing some renovation and we couldn't see those figures from the street because of the scaffolding. So I will have to take out of my pictures to show the kids.

By this time it was getting late. We had to start thinking about getting back to Como. So I was kind of rushing Lenore through the museum. There was lots of neat artwork by Cremonese artists. Some of them I recognized. The Stradivarius part was at the end of the museum. As I already mentioned the weather outside was extremely hot. The museum was not air-conditioned except the Stradivarius part which was cooler, but only slightly, and humidity controlled so was slightly more humid then outside. In a way it was a little more comfortable. But only until you got used to the temperature. Then the humidity started to bother you. Most of what I remember seeing in this part of the museum were instruments made by other artists rather than Stradivarius. There were a lot of tools made and used by Stradivarius as well as designs and plans. From what I understand from reading guide books, the Stradivarius instruments held locally are on display in another part of the building, in what my actually be government offices rather than a museum.

When I served in Cremona for nine months I was oblivious to the fact that this museum existed or they had instruments on display or even that Stradivarius was buried there. It wasn't until very near the end of my mission when I nearly stumbled over his grave and monument in Parco Roma. However, I was well acquainted with the violin making school because of all the students we ran into. I would have like to show one of these workshops to the kids. But, we didn't have time to seek out a student.

We made our way back over to the street in between Parco Roma and the cathedral. There was much more activity now that the soccer game was over and the midday break was over. We bought some things including a nice pair of pointy Italian shoes for Lenore.

One of the endearing and enchanting things about Cremona as I remember it was the small-town atmosphere. But, it is also a large enough city to have a cosmopolitan flair. Cremona doesn't have a very extensive bus system. There are only one or two bus lines, the center of town is compact and small enough that getting around in a car is not ideal. We missionaries hardly used the buses because it was easier to get around on bicycles. We noticed a lot of people on bicycles. I don't remember that being the case when I is there on a mission. Lenore wondered if we had set off a fad. But between the small narrow streets paved in large stones or bricks and outdoor cafes and gelaterias and the people on bicycles, central Cremona now presents itself as a very quaint and attractive city. Just as we were leaving the afternoon was starting to cool down, kids were playing with a soccer ball and a man was setting up tables and chairs in the main piazza for the anticipated evening restaurant service. We imagined an idyllic Italian evening scene transpiring within a few hours right in front of the cathedral.

One thing I noticed on the main square that was lined with a civic building, the cathedral, the baptistery, and the bell tower, was on one of the columns of the civic building there was the small stairway leading to a small balcony that I'm sure served as the platform for the delivery of many a speech or news broadcast probably even up until the not too distant past. Picture a political rally or the announcement of latest news on the progress of the war or the death of a great leader. I made sure I pointed this out to the kids so they could get a sense of how the main piazza and the cathedral and the church were such a central point of town life.

There is a webcam of this part of Cremona here.

We made our way back to the train station and waited on the platform for our train. It didn't seem late but by the time we got back to the central train station in Milan it was too late to make the connection for a train to Merone. Pierre had loaned me his cellphone. So I called him and asked what to do. We took another train that stopped at a city that was near Monguzzo and Pierre came to pick us up. by the time we got home it was about 10:00 p.m. Liliana still fed us and sent us off to bed. the train ride back was very reminiscent for me because of the late evening heat and the perfume of the flowering trees the scent of jasmine. There was a beautiful moon. It wasn't until Pierre picked us up and we got back to their home that he and Liliana were able to get a true sense of our personalities. The day before we had been so tired from the flight and the jet lag that I'm sure they were wondering if I was the same person they knew in school. I felt like I was finally able to hold a decent conversation with them and engage in some discussion.

The next day we were supposed to go to Bergamo and meet with the other missionaries about 9:00 a.m. After a busy day in Cremona and checking the train schedule, knowing that we had to travel to Milano, make a connection and then go to Bergamo, we realized we were not going to be there at 9:00 a.m. I had wanted to meet with the main group especially to see Roberto Calvagna. He was an Italian Elder who spent his first two months during my last two months in our district in Cremona. He is a really nice guy and makes his way as a graphic artist in Bergamo. As it was, with a not so early start and all the trouble we didn't make it to Bergamo until 2:00 p.m. We immediately went to the old upper city. As we got off the bus we were recognized by a group of three sister missionaries. But, they were the only ones we ran into that day. Apparently, all of the others had already done their sight-seeing and had moved on. I knew two of the Sisters from my mission and after. They were Sister Kathy Smith and Sister Ortu' (the accented final u is a dead giveaway for a Sicilian name.) I did not know the other, Sister Hardy. They showed us around a little bit. Bergamo struck me as a very nice and neat and orderly city. I'm sure the fact that it is situated in the far north and the influences of the Austrian and Swiss cultures have contributed to this. I was told, and I could see that the old city was a very tony and expensive place to live. We walked down narrow cobbled streets window shopped, bought ice-cream, and made our way to the main piazza.

Sister Hardy sort of took on the role of telling us about the sights. She had obviously listened well on their earlier tour. Inside the basilica of Santa Maria Maggiore there was a memorial to many of the well known artists from Bergamo. One of these was Donizetti. I said the name sounded familiar and Sister Hardy offered that she thought he was a painter. After I thought some I said I was pretty sure he had written opera. She didn't like my correcting her and insisted I was wrong even though one of the memorials mentioned his "melodie". When we returned to the U.S. we checked and found that indeed he wrote opera. Probably his best known aria is, Una Furtiva Lagrima from l'Elisir d'Amore.

On the outside wall of the basilica of Santa Maria Maggiore on the main square in the citta' alta in Bergamo, I noticed something interesting. There are several metal bars attached to the wall. My first impression was that they were some sort of reinforcement. But, I looked more closely and saw words inscribed on them. With that I realized they represented lengths of measure common in the textile trade. Upon further reflection, I surmised that the town market was probably at one time held in the little piazza in front of the church and the cloth vendors set up their booths near these standards both for their benefit and for that of their customers. I also figured that anyone at any time could refer to these measures since they were spelled out both in the textile terms as well as the metric equivalent. If anyone ever questioned the length of something they could hold it up to the "standards" on the wall of the church.

Like Cremona the main piazza in Bergamo's citta alta is surrounded by a cathedral, two churches, some shops and in this case the library rather than a Civic building. As we went across the main piazza we noticed a film crew set up and they were directing people to walk around the periphery. We could see they were filming a commercial, a television " spot ". It was for a new cute Honda automobile. They spread some seed in the Piazza to attract pigeons and the Honda would drive through them. Of course they would scatter at the last minute making a dramatic scene. Later when we were leaving the city they were filming in another area and doing the same thing, driving up and down one of those narrow streets. They had to stop us and ask us to wait while they finished their film so we wouldn't interfere with the shot. The crew was either all-German or multinational. The PA who stopped us tried to speak in English. He said it would only be five minutes. A short while later an older couple came walking down the street. The PA looked at me, nodded his head asking me to pass on the information to this new couple that they needed to stop for the filming of the commercial. I started to talk to them in Italian and had to explain a couple times. Eventually they understood. When the next family came down the street the PA looked at me again and I started to talk to them in Italian again. They looked at me and shook their heads indicating they did not understand. I asked them if they were French. When they answered yes the older first couple volunteered to explain to them. This explained why they didn't understand my Italian very well. They were French. Eventually we had a whole group of people standing there waiting for the end of this commercial so we could go down the street and none of them spoke Italian.

I didn't know that Bergamo was the birthplace of Pope John XXIII. In one of the three churches just off the main square of the citta' alta they had a lot of his jewels and papal relics including one of his crowns.

Some of the walls of the Old City still stand and the bus route still winds through one of the old porticos. We were told that in the old days the bells started tolling at 10:00 p.m. and rang a hundred times before the gates were closed. We explained to the kids about the nature of ancient city life where people lived and slept inside the walled city at night for protection and worked outside the city in the fields during the day and how important it would be to make sure you were inside the walls when the gates were closed.

Planning that night for our next day (Saturday), again we could tell that we probably wouldn't be able to get to Milan in time to meet the Missionary group at 10am so we aimed for noonish at piazza Duomo. The kids liked how you emerge from the underground Metro stop right on the piazza. We were accosted by all sorts of panhandlers. For more than year I wore one of the silly string bracelets we bought. Everyone else's fell off real quick. We bought some pigeon feed and have pictures with the family being swarmed including birds on the heads of Laney and Jensen.

We walked from the piazza in search of an ATM machine and continued on around in a circle until we entered the Galleria that feeds to the piazza from the backside through Piazza della Scala. I briefly showed them the Scala theater (Look! kids, Big Ben!) and a statue in Piazza della Scala of Leonardo da Vinci.

After proceeding through the Galleria back to Piazza Duomo I showed them around the outside of the cathedral. It is very ornate and is fronted by sets of huge doors at least 30 feet tall covered with hundreds of figurines. I would call them bas-relief except that they are even more pronounced than what I think of as bas-relief. From a distance the doors appear to be painted wood. But, closer inspection will reveal that they are made of brass or bronze. There are several spots where the patina is worn off by the touch of curious tourists. Each of these doors is a major work by itself and probably weighs tons. The building was designed by the great Leonardo and took more than 400 years to complete.

We met up with some of the other missionaries, including Elder Rupp who told me he had dinner with the Giulianos earlier in the week. They were a family in Torino that I and my companion had tracted out very early in my mission. He said they asked about me and gave me their phone number. We soon decided we would have to make arrangements to go to Turin, probably instead of Pisa.

We briefly chatted with some of the missionaries and then headed to Castello Sforzesco. The main thing we saw there was the last sculpture of Michaelangelo Buonarotti, a pieta, that he was working on when he died. Being in its unfinished state, they say it is a good study piece for artists because it reveals a metamorphosis of his concept for the sculpture.

We returned to the Duomo and met up with a bigger group of the missionaries. Inside I was once again impressed with the sheer size of the Cathedral. It is probably close to two football fields in area. The girls were quite impressed with a statue of Saint Bartholomew (here again correctly identified, much to the consternation of sister Hardy, by Lenore on account of having read and brought our guide book. Sister Hardy said it was Saint Ambrogio the patron Saint of Milan.) We were starting to bother people with our know-it-all-ness. Saint Bartholomew was martyred when he was flayed alive. The statue depicts him standing with his skin (in one piece) draped over his shoulder. The image is altogether not unlike Mr. Freddy Kruger himself.

We went down in the treasury to see some neat old papal jewels and collection of bones purported to belong to each of the original twelve apostles. I don't remember if John the Beloved was represented or not. In another part of the basement which we did not get to, is a full blown baptismal font (for immersion) that the Mormons take great delight in seeing.

We met for lunch with the other missionaries at a restaurant just off the Galleria. This lunch transpired in such a way that there really wasn't enough opportunity to visit.

While reading the guide book Lenore had gotten all interested in and excited about seeing antiquities and especially mummies, "dead things" we called them from then on, and it was the running joke amongst us.

After lunch we made our way, by metro and on foot, to a church called San Lorenzo Maggiore. On the way we walked by a bike store and I noticed in the window a Schmolke carbon handlebar. I had been wanting one of these for about 2 years. The problem is they are made in Germany and at the time were not heavily marketed in the US. I had tried e-mailing the manufacturer. But, I never got any response. Finally, I got in touch with a guy through e-Bay who was able to get them made for people. Before we left for Italy I had almost finished making arrangements to buy one. When I saw the one on display in the store, I thought, "There must have been a reason I didn't buy one of those before we came to Italy." So I went inside to see how much it was. They wanted 454 Euros! about 200 dollars more than what my contact in Germany wanted. So I said, "no thanks."

The church of San Lorenzo Maggiore has a stand of Roman columns from the 200's in front. It is a quaint little church complex from the 4th Century with interesting frescos, mosaics, and one of the few depictions of a beardless Christ. Adjoining the main church is the church of San Aquilino which houses the remains (mummy) of a 1000 year old martyr. Like most of these on display in Italy, it was mostly covered with a mask and robes. But portions of this one were visible so that you could see that there really was a dead person under everything.

We also went underground to view the excavation of the ruins of an old Roman foundation.

We had to hurry to get to the metro and take a train to the Stake center where the missionaries were meeting with the mission president. We arrived late and had to leave early. It was unfortunate because once again we didn't get to visit with the other missionaries.

Some of the information pres. Henderson shared with us:

- A plot has been purchased on the outskirts of Rome for a temple;
- The time when we served our missions (1975-1980) is referred to by the members as a "golden era". Membership increased about 100% from 5000 to 10000;
- The way growth is going in Italy there could be three stakes in the north before there is even one in Rome;
- The baptism rate since Pres. Henderson arrived has doubled over the same time last year. For the first time the ratio for baptisms has reached 1 per elder.

Pierre drove down to Milan to pick us up from this meeting and I noticed he seemed to drive more conservatively this time and Laney did not throw up. The car and traffic situation in Italy is different. For the most part cities are older and many roads were established before the advent of the automobile. Roads are narrower and parking is more scarce. Most of the vehicles are much smaller than here in the U.S. Occasionally you may see a larger car. I think I saw a Jeep Cherokee or two, a couple of Toyota SUV's and maybe even a Hummer. We made sure to point out the smallest and most unique vehicles, especially the little 3 wheeled 50cc trucks. Our favorite one though was a new Mercedes built "Smart". This was probably the smallest of the passenger cars, but very cute. It was very cube looking (except for the sloping windshield), with a wheelbase of perhaps 6-7 feet. It is just a 2 door-2 seater. I recently saw a little blurb on it in a car magazine and it has a little 80 hp 3 cylinder engine and gets up to 106 mph!

Jensen was fascinated with the graffiti she saw, especially what she saw while approaching the Milano Centrale station on the train. There was one picture that we wanted to get a photo of. But, we missed the chance. It was a very good rendering of police chief Wiggum from the Simpsons.

For Sunday, we had to pack up everything so we could leave directly from church to go the train station. We attended the Muggio Ward with the Tromeurs. This was in one of the few church-built buildings in Italy, in the Monza area. Unfortunately, the grounds were very unkempt. From remarks Pierre made, it sounds like the members expect the FM group to perform all of the groundskeeping duties. They may not be on the same program as us.

As happens in many cases, Pierre was the Stake Clerk, the High Priest group leader in his Ward and taught the lesson in Priesthood meeting. Liliana was the Ward Relief Society President and taught the Gospel Doctrine lesson. I was very impressed with one of the young women who spoke English quite well and played the piano in Primary and Sacrament. Also she had heard that the missionaries had a contact who was deaf so she learned sign language to help them teach her. Now she signs in Sacrament meeting for the hearing impaired.

A week or two before we went to Italy I toyed with the idea of offering to sing in Liliana's Sacrament meeting. But I dismissed the idea as selfish and egocentric. Shortly after arriving however, Liliana "asked" me if I would sing. She actually had already volunteered me. We decided to have the whole family sing "I Need Thee Every Hour" in two parts. As it worked out we were a little pressed for time, so we sang for the opening hymn. A little strange. But, it worked out OK. We left right after the sacrament in the Multipla for Stazione Centrale.

This was the worst part of the whole trip. We were going to miss the missionary/member open house in the afternoon. But, we needed to get to Santa Margherita to check in to the apartment. It was a very hot muggy day. We were still dressed in our church clothes. We ended up waiting at the station probably for 30 minutes waiting to know for sure which platform our train would be leaving from. Since we were loaded down with all our stuff, I didn't want to make a mistake and have to schlepp our bags from one platform to another.

This might be a good place to make a remark about public service announcements in train stations in Italy. Several times we could hear an announcement and the kids would ask me, "What did he say?" I think even to the Italians these are mostly unintelligible. I think the only thing I've ever understood in an announcement was "sta in partenza sul binario...blah, blah...anziche binario...blah, blah..." or "will depart from platform...(unintelligible)...rather than platform...(unintelligible)." Usually all you can understand is that some train headed for somewhere is leaving on a different platform than was originally planned. Which isn't good if it is your train.

The train station was very crowded and I was anxious, hot, and trying to keep an eye on our luggage. Jensen wanted a drink and I tried to get her to buy it herself without my language help. Finally, Pierre felt sorry for her and helped her out. I don't think any of the family tried to talk to an Italian the entire vacation without my help. They finally announced our platform and we boarded. Liliana had packed us a nice lunch to eat on the train with yummy meats and cheeses and some of my favorite Sicilian red orange juice. I was sweating profusely and felt we were a little country bumkin-ish scarfing our lunch with all our bags in our crowded rail car. I later learned that a lot of the other people in the car were also tourists. So I didn't feel like such a crass American.

When we arrived in Genova and had to switch trains I wasn't sure which train we needed and thus again didn't know which platform we needed. So I left everyone and the bags and went into the station to find out. By the end of the vacation I had again gotten used to how the schedules and everything worked. But, at this time I wasn't very good at it. I looked at the big board and at the paper schedules, and finally I went to the ticket window and asked. Any number of trains may go right by your destination without stopping. And it's also possible to catch a later train that will actually arrive earlier. I wanted to leave as soon as possible and make sure we arrived in town on time. The man at the window told me the next train we could take was leaving in 5 minutes. So I hurried back to the family and we ran lugging all our bags about 200 yards to the correct platform. We got there just in time and got all our bags on the train and then I remembered that I needed to "validate" our tickets. So Lenore blocked the door and the nice conductor waited while I got the ticket stamped in the little device right on the platform.

Once we got on this train and settled in I felt quite a bit more relaxed. We still had a ton of bags all over the car. But, all we had to do was get off at the right place. This car had more of a commuter "feel" to it and the Italians were very accommodating. Now it was later in the afternoon, we were riding along the coast and It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The windows were down. The breezes cooled us off and we could consistently catch scenic glimpses of the beach and the water.

Santa Margherita is a beautiful little town. It was once quite a favorite resort town of the beautiful people. We feel luck played a big part in our finding this neat little town. We wanted some time in Italy to just relax. Some of our best vacation time is spent at the beach in San Clemente, California. So we wanted a place on the coast. But, we also wanted to be close to Genova, and thus Milan and any city we might want to visit. So, we figured the Eastern Ligurian coast. There aren't a lot of sandy beaches in this area so we had to be careful. Using the internet we looked at some hotels in various places. But, the idea of an apartment or a villa seemed better to suit our needs. My friend Liliana had a friend who recommended the Hotel Due Mari in Sestri Levante. I talked on the phone and e-mailed them several times. They were even finishing construction/preparation of some apartment style rooms. The guy with whom I was to make reservations was supposed to call me back twice and never did. Fortunately, I took that as an omen and kept looking even though the vacation was fast approaching.

One property I keep seeing advertised on various sites on the internet was "Villino Matilde" in Santa Margherita Ligure. (Another picture here.) Facilities-wise it seemed to be what we were looking for, in our price range (I think it was about 800 - 900 Euros per week), and available. There are some major resort towns on the Ligurian coast. We didn't mind being close. But, figured we probably didn't want to be right in one of these. One of the best and most well-known resorts on the Italian Riviera and perhaps in all of Italy is Portofino. Santa Margherita is about 3 miles from Portofino.

A webcam of SML port can be found here.

I called the people who rent out this apartment and spoke with a very nice and personable young woman who confirmed there were sandy beaches in the vicinity. However, she told me she wasn't planning on renting the apartment in June because of some construction going on right next door. I talked it over with Lenore and called Christina back with the idea that we would ask for a discount because of the construction. She offered to rent it to us for 600 Euros for the week. We thought that was great.

To be honest, the pictures of this place on the internet are not terribly flattering, they portray it even as perhaps dumpy looking. In reality, the place is very quaint and cute. It is only about 600-700 total square feet on two levels, with a kitchen, family room, 2 bedrooms and a 3/4 bath. We found it very endearing and big enough for our needs. We could actually live in it if we had to. We found out that Christina works at, and her family owns, the hotel that is opposite the construction going on next door, the Nuova Riviera. Not the most ritzy. But, a very popular and nice hotel mentioned in most of the travel guides.

Most of our vacation really was near idyllic. We have never done a vacation like this (a lot of sight-seeing). We figured we wouldn't like it and we wouldn't be good at it. We were happily surprised to find that we could do it and enjoy it. The kids were really great (other than asking for gelato at every turn) and Laney was stellar.

Sunday night, our first night in Santa Margherita, Laney woke up screaming at half past midnight and literally just screamed for about a half hour. After only a couple of minutes the kids came into our room and were very concerned. We did everything we could think of, tried to console, poked and prodded. We couldn't tell if she was in pain or had a bad dream or what. I was starting to wonder who had been buried under the house or who had been murdered there. The hospital was only about 100 yards away and the kids started pleading with us to take her there. But, I guess I was too timid to do that. (At the time it seemed more appropriate to take her the extra 200 yards further to the Cathedral for exorcism.) I gave Laney a blessing and after a short while she settled down and went back to sleep. In the morning she was fine. We were all relieved that she was all right and made jokes about our "possessed" baby. She was fine except that occasionally she would get a demonic look on her face and sing, "la la la la la la" like the dog in the movie Little Rickey.

Lenore applied some of her psychology training to the episode and feels that the activities of that day had been just too much for Laney and had over loaded her senses.

In Europe there are private beaches and public beaches. For the most part the private beaches have nice imported sand, cabanas, chaises, and cost about 10 Euros per day per person. The public beaches are usually less nice but not quite so Las Vegasey.

Our first day in SML We asked Christina what beach we should go to. She told us to go to Paraggi and it was only a short 20 minute walk toward Portofino. I carried Laney in the backpack and we set out along the coast road. We walked a lot longer than 20 minutes and finally stopped at an okay beach that we later learned was just short of Paraggi. The water was quite comfortable and a beautiful turquoise blue just like the post cards.

While we were at SM we wanted to spend one day in Genova since it was so close (about 20 miles) and I had served there for 5 1/2 months. We had wanted to see Cimitero Monumentale while in Milan. But, we ran out of time. We read in the guide book that Genova has the second largest cemetery in the world (the largest is in Brazil, I think). Lenore had grown so interested in "dead things", so on Tuesday we headed to Genova and made our first stop at Staglieno cemetery. I never visited this place while on my mission but I do have a nice picture of it all lit up at night. It was an impressive cemetery. But, not the same format as Cimitero Monumentale. It was a large campus, very much like a very ordered military cemetery, with mainly quite small headstones. On the periphery there were two (I think) "rings" of corridors with larger, more impressive monument style graves. Just like the cemetery in Milan, the artistic talent on display is quite amazing, on par with most museum pieces.

Another site we wanted to see in Genova was Columbus' native home. I had seen it while I served my mission. They made a big deal about it being open once a year on his birthday. So we missionaries went to see it. I was flabbergasted that they wouldn't let us inside. They just opened the front doors so we could peer in. I guess not being allowed in wasn't that big a deal because it was just a stone box, two levels, with a footprint of maybe 200-300 square feet. When we visited this time it was not Columbus' birthday so the doors were not open and there were no Carabinieri on guard. We grabbed an unsuspecting Italian who took a couple of pictures of our family in front of it. Here very nearby, there is also an old gate of the city just like in Bergamo. I think the kids were starting to realize that Italy is a very old place.

Genova also hosts an aquarium that is supposed to be the second largest in the world. (I wonder if Genova has a complex over this second placing all the time.) It probably achieves this through its variety more than anything else. It is not as impressive as the aquarium in Monterey and probably that in San Francisco as well. However, at the skate display in Genova the fish are not shy. (In Monterey they swim just out of reach.) These skates and a couple of small sharks wanted to be petted. I had to put aside no small degree of concern and much instinct and training that says don't touch strange and menacing looking things, but I did. The little ray's skin felt hard and rough, much like I imagine a shark would feel. We all screwed up enough courage to touch them. But, we didn't press our luck by petting them extensively. There was also a neat little hummingbird forest at the facility that we visited as well.

We took the opportunity here in Genova to eat again at a sit down restaurant/bar and all I remember is I had some really qood penne (pasta) with a very yummy bolognese (tomato with ground beef and pork) sauce.

On Wednesday We went to Torino and had an interesting thing happen. We had ridden on about 14 different trains. In very hot, humid, open cars with little (or inconvenient) space for baggage, and difficult conditions for containing Laney (I'm sure a lot of these very trains were old even back when I was on my mission). But, that morning, quite by accident, we got on a train that had air conditioning and compartments for up to 6 people with reclining seats. This was great! We had comfort and privacy. We found out when the ticket controller came by that this was an intercity (IC) train and required a fairly negligible ticket upgrade that was about $2.50 per person. (No, I don't think she was just fishing for a bribe.) It was well worth it. We looked over the schedules and made sure that we took them on all of our remaining trips when possible. This was especially nice when we had to go back to Milan with all our bags.

Just like Cremona, it took me awhile to recognize and get oriented in Torino. We got on a bus and went north looking for the little church that houses the "Santo Sindone", the shroud of Turin. Unfortunately, the chapel closed for lunch right before we got there. So we wandered around a little and looked for a gift to take to Angela Giuliano. We saw some signs regarding the 2006 winter games to be held in Turin.

We got on the bus to head to the Giulianos and asked for someone to indicate where to get off. We found after several situations where we had done this that it is a good idea to evaluate how confident the information-giver seemed to be in their directions. The Italians are so accommodating and eager to help that they will sometimes give instructions when they really don't know for sure.

Unfortunately, we were told to get off the bus one stop too early. There were two bus drivers at the bus stop where we got off. I asked them where we needed to go and even they didn't know very well. Eventually, we determined that we just needed to walk a little ways. For the first few blocks nothing looked familiar to me and I was starting to be concerned. But, we went just a little bit further and I finally started to recognize the place. I rang the citofono (intercom) at the appropriate apartment building and when Angela rang us in I made Lenore and the kids ride the elevator since it was a new experience for them. It was a maximum 3 person elevator. (Once on my mission we crammed 4 elders in one, but it's not a smart thing to do, especially not going up.)

The Giulianos had remodeled their humble apartment, approximately 400-500 square feet. She fed us a wonderful and varied lunch. One interesting note, At one point Angela wanted to change my plate because I was switching from one food to another. I protested because I felt bad about burdening her with so many dishes to wash. She said something about mixing salty foods with sweet. I'm guessing that is one of the reasons they change plates with every course.

One common story I found on my mission was that often an Elder's strongest convert was tracted out early in his mission. Sis Giuliano says it was my 12th day in Italy that Steve Smith and I first knocked on their door. I looked it up in my journal and found it was 20 June 1977. We were having lunch together again on 19 June 2002, almost exactly 25 years later!

I told her that my experience with her family during my mission was one of the best experiences of my mission. I remember mostly a Family Home Evening that we had with them the night before I or Elder Smith left town. Sis Giuliano said the closing prayer and the spirit was very strong. At that time I knew she knew what she had to do. Her husband was never receptive to the Gospel and died several years ago. Her two daughters, Claudia and Eva, and her son, Tito, all joined the church. Tito only remained active for a couple of years. He has a live-in girlfriend and a young daughter. Angela and the two daughters remain active to this day. Both daughters married non-members. The husband of one died unexpectedly a couple of years ago. She has since taken out her endowments and had her husband and daughter sealed to her in the Temple. The nonmember husband of the other has since joined the church and is serving as the district clerk. So Angela, two daughters and a son in law are active temple-worthy attending members.

I have never set down or shared with many the struggles of my mission. I'm not sure they were unordinary. My fear going in was in being able to maintain the schedule and the physical rigors of missionary work. I didn't know that I could be so consistent at getting up at 6:30am and going to bed at 10:30 pm. I didn't know I would respond well to the structure and routine of the LTM.

My struggles were of a different kind. I had really had a very happy and enjoyable time in my family and socially in the church during the last couple of years of high school. Of course when I arrived in Italy the finality and reality sank in and I was homesick. However, I was smart enough to know that I was homesick for something I could not go home to. I could go home. But, I would not return to what I had left. My life would never be the same and especially if I left the mission early.

Other than learning that important lesson my struggles on my mission mainly had to do with living up to perceived expectations; and learning how to best apply myself

I wanted to serve the Lord. But, I hoped that would allow me to attain important missionary roles. I longed to fill positions like Wade: Zone Leader and Assistant to the President and be looked to as an example. (It didn't help that also my two best friends, Stuart and Chris served as AP's and later Sean also filled that prestigious calling.) I realized that mission demographics played a large part when I was made a senior companion and District Leader fairly early on. But, I thought that the position of Zone Leader couldn't be very far down the road. It never came. When I reconciled myself with this and got my heart in the right place we seemed to really be able to concentrate on the work and do some good. Then my companion wanted to go home and I couldn't convince him otherwise. It was one of the largest in a line of speed bumps on my mission. When I recovered from this and fearfully submitted myself to the Lord, offering to remain in Cremona for the rest of my mission, that's exactly what happened. I spent my last nine months there and finished up as President of the humble little Branch.

I feel I spent most of my mission time as a foot soldier, tracting 40-50 hours per week. There were weeks of endless door knocking in 95 degrees with matching humidity, while most of the people weren't home, or in freezing wind and snow. We would take turns managing the tracting record so we could keep our gloves on and not have to freeze our fingers all the time. We rode our bikes in snow and driving rain. We didn't face outright opposition. But worse, marked indifference and apathy.

I spoke to Angela Giuliano somewhat of Elder Steve Smith and told her that he had passed away. She wanted to know what he died of. I told her what I knew at the time, that he had died of AIDS. But, that I thought he was in good standing with the church when he died. (I didn't have the heart to tell her that Quinn McKinnon, my LTM companion whom she was also acquainted with, also died from AIDS several years ago.) Shortly after we returned from Italy a movie was aired locally on TV called the "Kim and Steve Smith Story" that explained in greater detail his illness and death and his ties with the Church. I have obtained a video copy of the show and converted it to PAL format for Europe and sent it to her. She watched it with a friend who could translate it for her.

In order to get any time at all at the Egyptian Museum, we had to leave Angela's house before her daughter got home from work. But, we told her when we were planning on leaving from the train station and she said they would try to meet us there. And indeed after we visited the Egyptian Museum and went to catch our train they did find us at Stazione Porta Nuova and they had a nice bag of treats and snacks for our train trip. Yummy Italian hospitality again!

The Egyptian Museum in Turin is supposed to be second only to the one in Cairo. I expected perhaps more mummies. There were maybe ten or so. Great statues and monuments filled two great halls. Another large display was made up of many tomb contents (including mummified pets: fish, cats, a crocodile or two, all sorts of foodstuffs that might be needed by the dead in the afterlife) and the walls of another were lined with a papyrus Book of the Dead. These parts I remember from a visit during my mission.

The next day (Thursday) in SML we set out to find the beach Christina meant for us to find on Monday. We took the bus to Portofino which turned out to be an adventure in itself. The road is a narrow two-lane affair that winds along the coast. On the straights it is a tight fit for a bus and another vehicle to pass. However, there are several sharp turns where it was difficult for the bus alone to pass. The driver would approach these turns with a honk of his horn to warn oncoming motorists. More than once the other driver had to stop hard and back up for us to pass.

We passed a very nice, large, orderly private beach in a large cove at Paraggi and I assumed that was where Christina was referring us to. But, right after it about 400 yards was a very small secluded cove that looked public and not crowded. It caught my eye. But, I wasn't sure if the others had seen it. I later learned that everyone in the family had noticed it.

As we neared Portofino I smelled the odor of burning rubber or heated electrics. But, it didn't register enough for me to wonder where it was coming from. Then one of the passengers alerted the driver that there was smoke coming out of one of interior panels of the bus. He stopped the bus right where we were on a curve, very effectively blocking the road both ways. We all got off the bus. No road traffic was going in or out of Portofino for a couple of hours.

We walked the remaining 200-300 yards into the town past the neat little church down a little salita to the port. There were lots of tourists probably from a cruise ship. We sort of looked around. But, we wanted to get away from the tourists so we walked back down the road to the little beach we had seen. (Here.)

"Our" beach was accessed by 30 or so steep stone and cement steps. It's just a little cove maybe 50 feet wide. Only part of it was "nice" sand. But the rest of it was acceptable. Being so close to the cliff, at least part of the beach and the water is shaded all the time, which was nice. The waves are just little ankle breakers and the water is very clear, visibility was probably abt 30 feet, and the water temperature was probably close to 80. We had fun swimming around and skipping stones.

There is a very lovely villa across the way from this little beach. Lenore and I imagine it is "our" home for the eternities. A picture of it can be found here.

Our 2 mile march 3 days prior and sleeping on the rather stiff Italian mattresses had taken its toll on my lower back and I was suffering. It only took a couple minutes of swimming/floating/stretching before I felt 100% better.

At one point Lenore wanted me to look after Laney so I took her hand and led her down to the water we played around awhile and I started looking around for stones to skip. I sort of forgot about Lane and got away from her. All of a sudden I heard some noise and confusion and someone yelling, Dad! Dad! I started turning around and saw one of the Italian sunbathers running into the water. Then I saw Laney floundering (and foundering) and sputtering in the water. She had gotten out a little ways and one of the puny waves had knocked her down. The Italian lady plucked her out of the water and handed her to me. I was quite embarrassed that I had so quickly and easily neglected her supervision. She was upset for a couple minutes. But, suffered no long lasting effects. Weeks later in San Clemente she had very little fear of the water and enjoyed herself immensely.

At this beach we ran into a couple from Atlanta. He was a drug rep and had won a national sales contest within his company. He told us the President of the company was a descendant of the Medici family and the company was headquartered right there in SML. They were staying at the very posh Miramar Hotel in SML. He spoke Italian very well. I didn't ask him where he learned it. I assumed at school or maybe after he started working for the company.

Christina, who rented the apartment to us and whose family owns and runs the hotel next door, had been very nice and solicitous. She had checked in with us probably everyday and was constantly apologizing for the "works" next door. Evidently many patrons at the hotel and even neighbors had complained quite a bit about it even though Christina had nothing to do with it. Thursday evening we were speaking with her to let her know that we had found her beach and thought it was heavenly. She wanted to make up for the noise from the construction and offered us a bottle of wine. We told her we didn't drink wine. (Yes, I didn't take advantage of the potential missionary moment.) Later in our conversation we mentioned that we were going out to dinner Friday evening, our last night in Italy. She said she knew a wonderful restaurant and would make a reservation for us.

Our Thursday and Friday in SML were wonderful, exactly what we had wanted. The "duties" of sightseeing were all taken care of and we could just relax and enjoy ourselves. Our Friday plan was to go back to "our" beach

(Ominous music) When we went down to the Bus stop Friday morning to go to Portofino we found signs stating that the buses were on strike until 5pm! I remembered reading the notices the week before at the train station in Milan about a train strike to occur on Friday, but I didn't realize it included the buses. So we had a dilemma. Lenore suggested we walk. But, I really didn't think that was a good idea with my back giving me trouble. I wanted to check into taking a taxi. I asked one of the drivers and he said 16 Euros one way (he may have been taking advantage of the train and bus strike.) That was more than I wanted it to be. Lenore suggested just staying at the public beach there in SML. Well, compared to our beach in Paraggi, the beach at SML was a poor telestial kingdom. I then thought we could use one of private beaches. But, that would have been 50 Euros and beside the exorbitant cost, Lenore was dead set against the Las Vegas experience that would entail.

This situation was causing some consternation and strife. I'm glad I didn't get upset and create a worse situation. Finally, Lenore remembered the ferry boat that runs around the Tigullio peninsula. It was something that we had wanted to do. I checked on the price and it was something like 22.50 Euros round trip for the whole family. This was the perfect solution and I was very pleased with this outcome.

I don't want you to think that our marriage is one of consistent strife over expenses. I'm not always trying to spend lots of money and Lenore is not always simply keeping me in check. We usually strike a very good balance in money matters. Earlier in our marriage this situation might have easily escalated to a vigorous row. I'm glad that both Lenore and I have the love, consideration, experience and trust enough to stay calm and allow the best solution to present itself. If we had gotten all upset at each other over this I think in a very real way we would have stifled our "karma". In this case we felt karmically blessed.

The ferry was about a 50 foot boat and there were about 50 people on it. The trip to Portofino was about 45 minutes. But, really didn't seem that long. We took some photos and video of the picturesque views from the boat. I think Laney, and even the big kids, quite enjoyed the boat ride. At one point Lenore pointed out to me a very large and older yacht named "Christina O". I figured it was at least 100 feet in length. Boy, was I bad at estimating. I later looked on the internet and found it is more than 300 feet long. It is no longer owned by the Onasis family as of a couple of years ago. It has been renovated and rents out for $70,000 a day. It accommodates 35 people and has an equal number of staff.

We had a great time at the beach. We realized the conditions were good for snorkeling. So I walked into Paraggi to buy a mask and snorkel. This time rather than walk the road which is really fairly dangerous, I saw a footpath (not entirely unlike the path to the potholes at family camp) and had a lovely short walk into town. We later found that the footpath goes from SML to Portofino and that was probably how Christina meant for us to get to the beach in the first place.

The snorkeling was really quite fun. I think the kids really enjoyed it. Like Hawaii there were lots of fish to see. I found an anchor that was stuck on some cable about 10-12 feet down. I tried a couple times to bring it up. But, it was going to take more than a couple of seconds to free it and it was covered with imperceptible pricklies that hurt my fingers. It might have been the beginnings of coral and I imagined getting some exotic infection because of it. Perhaps if I had some diving gloves I might have been able to bring it up. I did find a small (7 inch?) hexagonal terra cotta tile with some imprinted writing and encrusted with some stucco. It was my Italian vacation souvenir and I brought it home.

We left our idyllic beach for the last time and walked the footpath back to Portofino. We had our next to last gelato at the slightly pricier gelateria right on the port. Each gelateria seems to have a special or unique flavor (the one we frequented in SML had "puffo", Jensen's favorite.) In Portofino we had Creme Caramel which was very good.

We got ready for our dinner at "La Lampara" restaurant. Lampara is probably a dialect word for lampada which means lantern. We took a passagiata (walk) down to the seafront and took in the Friday evening atmosphere. Jensen called Kimmie for the last time to check in on our pets. There were lots of people sitting in the front patios at the pricier restaurants with a view of the ocean. Ours was just a short way off the seafront. We were the only people at the restaurant when we got there. Actually 7:30 is a little early for the evening meal in Italy. We enjoyed the dinner (Laney got a little out of hand near the end) and we tried to do the whole Italian meal thing. But, couldn't really do all the courses for everyone. Not simply to avoid running up the bill. It's just a lot of food. I didn't really pick the best plate for myself. It was veal, which I love. But, it was a sort of a veal pate loaf.

When I asked for the check the lady told me that Christina had taken care of it. I was floored. I'm sure it was at least 100 Euros, probably quite a bit more than the bottle of wine she had offered us.

We took our last little walk back through town to our apartment and stopped for our last gelato.

I was stressing a little about the next morning's task of lugging the bags from taxi to train to train to bus to plane and making it to the airport on time. The way everything worked out I ended up each time carrying the 3 largest suitcases and the largest shoulder bag. We debated taking the earliest train just to make sure we could get to the airport with enough time. But, overall it wouldn't make that much difference. We were mostly concerned with getting the IC train so we could be comfortable in a compartment and easily keep an eye on our luggage.

We had to connect with the IC train in Genova so we made the change at the Brignole station since the train was stopping there and at Porto Principe. This way we might get on before the crowds and thereby get our compartment. On this first train there was even a car that was essentially just a box car with no seats. You could buy a very discounted ticket and ride in that car. In the IC trains there are little overflow fold-down jump seats in the aisles of the trains and I can remember occupying one of those uncomfortable positions on a mission transfer. I didn't want to do it again. It ended up that the IC train was a little late into Genova so our time was tight when we got into Milan.

I had checked into the airport shuttle buses the last time we were in the train station in Milan. I left everybody and all the bags and hurried over to the bus terminal where I waited at the head of the line for at least 10 minutes while the clerk chatted on the phone with a family member. She probably thought I couldn't understand her and I would assume it was not a personal call.

I didn't realize there was more than one bus line that shuttled people the 50 minute trip to Malpensa airport so we didn't actually leave on the next departing bus, causing a little more anxiety and consternation. Then to top it off our driver had a 15 minute argument with one of the passengers who he apparently thought hadn't paid for a ticket.

We made it to the airport with about 1 hour to spare and walked by the guards with their small machine guns. At the Alitalia check-in counter thankfully there was absolutely no one waiting to check in! They singled out Jensen's bag for an impromptu inspection. But, cut it short because we were running out of time. I wouldn't recommend showing up for an international flight with only an hour to spare. But, we didn't have to do any waiting at the airport and with customs and all just sort of breezed from one step to the next onto the plane. We were practically the last people to board the plane.

I don't recall much eventful happening on the flight home. Laney got her own seat from Milan to NYC. We watched "A Beautiful Mind" and I enjoyed it well enough. But, I'm not sure I would have had it do so well at the Oscars. Our plane was late leaving NYC and Laney did not get her own seat. We were pretty cramped and tired on this last leg.

One of the things we noticed that we thought was silly when we got to NY. We had to pick up our bags to go through customs and INS inspection. The line took a little while. But, it wasn't too bad. At the INS station we had to surrender our precious Italian salame that we were trying to bring into the country. I'll bet the inspectors had it for lunch! The silly thing was after doing all of this and re-checking our bags, never leaving a "secured" area, they made us all go through the metal detectors again! By this point all nerves were wearing thin and time for some people was running short before the departure of their flights.

Some notes on Italian food:

One of our favorite Italian foods is a desert called "tiramisu" (see the movie Sleeping in Seattle). It is ladyfingers soaked in espresso and rum or marsala with creamy mascarpone cheese or zabaglione and perhaps some chocolate shavings. We have never had any that wasn't homemade or "chef" prepared. We saw some for sale at a grocery store in little plastic dessert cups that were probably "factory" made. So we bought some. It was probably the ickiest thing we have ever had. I think the biggest problem was the excessive amount of alcohol. I guess they usually just use the flavoring. But, these were dripping with it. They weren't even very sweet.

When Liliana and I were neighbors in the Italian houses and did cooking and dishwashing together I grew quite fond of a couple of her Italian dishes. One of these was Risotto Milanese. I mentioned it to her and she made it for us one night. It is a rice dish made with mushrooms and onions and sometimes saffron. She was probably one of the better cooks at BYU at the time and her skills are not diminished in the least. Liliana also introduced us to a "new" strain of tomato that I think we don't have here called "ox heart" or "beef heart". They were quite large (especially for an Italian tomato) and ripe and juicy.

Some of our yogurt here in the states is ok. But we labor under the no-fat/low-fat myth. No such problem with Italians. There you can find full-fat yogurt and it is creamy and delicious. We ate quite a lot of it.