Testimony (from May 2005)

Our Stake has recently been admonished to bear "Pure Testimony"
frequently, taking a cue from the October 2005 General Conference talk
of Elder M. Russell Ballard. This suggestion includes learning more
about the function of bearing Testimony. I had a good friend in
college who talked of rating testimonies each month, whether the
bearer's words qualified as a "real" Testimony or not. One danger in
scrutinizing this uniquely LDS phenomenon is that we start judging the
testimonies of others and disdaining them as inadequate. In the
sincere Spirit of avoiding that evil I offer some observations.

I had the opportunity to meet one on one with our Stake President in
preparation for our Ward Conference and we discussed in some detail
this topic, partly because my own understanding was not clear. He was
trying to prepare me for our first Ward Conference four days later and
wanted to make sure that the Bishop understood this concept and could
set an appropriate example for the ward. I believe I learned something
from that meeting that I would like to share.

There are two areas of my Testimony bearing that I have changed since
this instruction. I learned something that I'm sure must have been
pointed out to me before: The Holy Ghost bears Testimony of Gospel
principles. Thus, while it may be true and good that I love my wife
and family, it is really not part of a Testimony. Also, saying you
love the Savior or are deeply grateful for his sacrifice are not
actually bearing witness of Him. We should spend the valuable time we
have in Testimony meetings bearing pure Testimony to invite that
strong Spirit and edify everyone. Children and people who are immature
in the Gospel may not understand all of the words and concepts. But,
they will recognize the Spirit.

I explained to the Stake President probably by way of rationalization
that I often felt I needed to relate an anecdote or some Gospel
related story to work myself into the Spirit so I could bear my
Testimony. I explained that most people were probably following that
same pattern for the same reason. The President taught me that is not
the "job" of the Testimony bearer. His job is to open his mouth and
allow the Spirit to come. Anecdotes and uplifting spiritual accounts
are more a characteristic of a proper talk.

We recently studied the gifts of the Spirit in our Gospel Doctrine
classes. I believe that a Testimony and the ability to invoke the
Spirit through bearing a Testimony, are gifts of the Spirit. It is one
of the most important and sacred things we can do together. If we set
out to do it and try to "do the Spirit's job for him," we are denying
the Gift of God. In the "old" entrenched pattern the speaker usurps
the Spirit's function by trying to "bring" the Spirit with a nice
story.

I learned that a lot of what we hear in our Fast and Testimony
meetings we could actually hear in most other churches as well. Let us
step up to our task and do that which we are uniquely enabled to do
because of the Gift of the Holy Ghost and because of our Testimonies.
That is literally to be bathed in the Spirit in a way similar to the
occasion of King Benjamin's famous discourse and Christ's appearance
to the Nephites.

I took a look back at the talks of the Apostles at the October 2004
General Conference. I found that in the closing/Testimony portion of
their talks they rarely use the phrase "I know." It is most common for
them to simply state the facts. We refer to D&C 46:13-14 (To some it
is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of
God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world. To others it
is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal
life if they continue faithful.) and make a distinction between
believers and knowers. I would guess that there are many who feel
inadequate in their Testimony because of this distinction. This is
unfortunate because the scripture clearly states that each is a gift
from God, not one above another. It very well may be that many who
feel inadequate would be able to bear a strong Testimony, and be
edified by doing so, if they had a better idea what it entails and
what the bearer's function is. I now refrain from using the words "I
know." Let me be clear, it is important to know and it is important
for us to be assured of one another's testimony. But, let's not allow
it to be a hurdle that hinders Gospel growth.

Now, often when I hear the phrase "I know" in a Testimony, it can
almost be a distraction. It can sound to me as if the bearer is trying
to convince me that he has a Testimony. That seems almost tangential
and beside the point. As a bishop, of course I care if someone has a
Testimony or not. But, in a Fast and Testimony meeting the point is to
bear witness of God the Father, his Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy
Ghost, to testify of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and of his role as
Savior and Redeemer, and to declare the restoration of the Gospel in
these the Latter Days. Convincing the congregation that you have a
testimony is secondary.

While it is not necessary to go beyond the facts, it may be helpful to
the audience. If you were called to be a witness at a trial and said,
"I know the defendant is innocent" a good judge or attorney would make
you explain how you knew. What makes you a credible witness? Well, I
have read the book and it rings true. I have felt the sweet Spirit
that its study brings. I have seen the fruits of living its principles
in my life.

To summarize and reinforce:
Stay on point, stick to Gospel principles especially core Gospel principles;
Your job is to open your mouth and let the Spirit flow;
State the Facts;
If you feel inclined, tell us how you were led to your conviction; and
Sit down, Let someone else do the same.

Since coming to a greater understanding of this great lesson I have
enjoyed much more the opportunity to bear Testimony. I have felt the
Spirit more and my Testimony has been strengthened. I see this gift as
one of our most important duties as members of the Church. We have
been taught for years that bearing your Testimony strengthens it. I
have found this to be true.

I spoke to the Priesthood Brethren and the Relief Society some weeks
ago on this topic prior to our Fast and Testimony meeting. I could
tell that some of the members were afraid to make an attempt after my
remarks. This saddened me somewhat. But, there were several who seemed
to have taken my ideas to heart and who bore powerful testimonies. One
sister in particular followed the pattern set by our Church leaders
and bore one of the strongest and most inspiring testimonies I have
ever heard.

It is true that we are beset with years of habit and tradition. People
who are speaking spontaneously and from the heart rarely have the
presence to say exactly what they want to say in the way they mean to
say it. Also, it is difficult for little children to learn these
concepts instantly. We can teach them correctly and let them take baby
steps to get where they ought to be. I can assure you that if we
follow the pattern of the Apostles and the admonition of our leaders
we will be strengthened and when we bear Testimony we will be the true
witnesses of the Gospel that we are meant to be.

On Becoming Bishop

To tell you about being called as Bishop I have to tell you about the new Stake Presidency.

We were expecting President Burton to be replaced at our Stake Conference in September and then they finally came out and told us that would happen. I have long thought that our, Bishop Brian Rodriguez, would be a good candidate for a counselor in the new Stake Presidency. He is very active and a doer, has a very good attitude and speak Spanish, which has come in real handy for our ward. In speculating on who the new Stake Presidency would be I Was thinking mainly Ernie Smith or Ron Daw. My very short list for president and counselors included the two above and Mark McDonough and Brian Rodriguez. I have to admit I was kinda leaning toward Ernie Smith in the presidency instead of Brian mainly because I was trying to second guess the process. If asked my choices I would have it just the way it ended up.

However, I expected to be released soon. I have been in the bishopric for 6 years running and a total of 8 years. Brian spoke to me sometime around May or June to see "how I was doing" and gave me the sense that I would likely be released before long without any promises.

For the Saturday evening session of Conference we were fairly early and watched a lot of people come in. Brian and Lisa showed up right before the meeting began. There were seats near us. Whether they saw us or not I don't know. But, they sat further back. After the meeting they were no where to be found. They left very quickly. Sister Daw and two of their daughters sang a musical number during the session. At that time I was pretty sure Ron Daw would be the new Stake President.

I was in the choir seats early for the Sunday morning session and was just watching things happen. I noticed Lisa come in with her family fairly early and secure some places in side benches in the chapel. She stayed standing most of the time looking for Brian and so he could see her when he came in. President Daw was poised with his family on the back row of the chapel right at the head of one of the aisles. It wasn't until about 5 minutes prior to the start of the meeting that the General Authorities and Stake Presidency came in. Right about the same time they came up on the podium Pres. Daw and Bishop Rodriguez came into the meeting from one of the back chapel doors. That's when I was pretty sure what was going on. Still when their names where announced I was somewhat dumbstruck because of the implication for me and our ward. That was 12 September.

Of course I realized that I must be on the short list for the new Bishop. Truthfully, I felt the choice was between me and Paul Brewer who is our High Councilor and a great guy. It may have been part wishful thinking and part denial. But, I was still hoping to be released, especially since I believed I had an advocate on my side in Brian and he could tell the new Stake President how worn out I was. Brian soon told us that it would likely be a while, possibly until after General Conference before we would get our new Bishop.

As a family we haven't been the most consistent with doing all of the family gospel things we are supposed to do. Sporadic temple attendance, inconsistent family prayer and scripture reading and lackluster family home evening compliance describes well our family Gospel habits. For some time going to the temple was a bit of a chore. Years ago we liked to go early on Friday morning. Then we got lazy and didn't want to wake up that early. So we moved like everybody else to Friday Evening. It became so that the huge crowds and traffic hassle would really dampen our spirit or turns us away altogether. The Friday before Stake Conference Lenore I went again early in the morning and it was a much nicer experience. Since then we have tried to go every other week. The family has been much better about family prayer and scripture reading and FHE too, except that if left up to Laney she would say every prayer uttered in our home and the only song we would sing for FHE is "Making Christmas" from the Nightmare Before Christmas.

It's strange how you adjust your life in anticipation of a call. I still wanted to be released. But, I figured if I was going to be the Bishop I'd better be in the right frame of reference for it. The Tuesday night before General Conference the Stake Presidency called about 12/13 of the male leadership of the ward in to interview. Pres. Daw was following the same pattern that had been used to select him as Stake President. In my interview we chatted about the family and work and my past experience in the Church and on my mission. I gave them a short list of three names which consisted of Paul Brewer (our High Councilor), Gary Cooper (our Ward Clerk) and Brent Gardner (our Executive Secretary). I didn't suggest myself or Bob Kirk (Second Counselor) or Kyle Christensen simply because they have both been divorced and I know it is extremely extremely rare for them to call a Bishop who has been divorced (not a widely known bit of Church Policy. Whatever happened to the idea of repentance and forgiveness?) Otherwise I would have put them on my short list. I think the Stake Presidency realized that I knew about this Policy.

I spoke to Paul Brewer the Sunday after these interviews and he told me that as a gesture of kindness he did not suggest my name. I told him I hadn't been so kind to him.

Lenore and I figured they had to make a selection and get First Presidency approval (during the busy run-up to General Conference) and then extend the call. But we also expected them to give the new Bishop some time to consider his counselors and pray about it and go to the temple. So we figured if they were going to do it on 10 October, they would probably call the Bishop the week before, maybe the Saturday or Sunday of GC or maybe Tues or Thurs night after. Sunday after GC I was in the garage and Paul Brewer cam strolling by with his wife. He asked me if I had heard anything or had an interview and told me he hadn't. So we figured we were safe. Then later the senior Bishop in the Stake called me to see if anything had been done about our new Bishop. He was to lead a Stake Bishop's Welfare Council meeting on Tuesday night and wanted to know who should attend. I told him that Brian was still wearing two hats. About an hour later Brian called me to ask me to go to the meeting for him. It seemed to me that was a big indication I would be called. Though as each day went by in that week we started to think it was somebody else and that was for the best. On Friday I left work an hour early so I could take a bike ride on one the last nice days I would ride in a while. Right when I walked in the door the phone was ringing and it was the Stake Executive Secretary. He set up an appointment for me and Lenore on Saturday at 11am with President Daw and President Rodriguez. That's when I was pretty sure what was happening.

All together we met with the Presidents for about two hours. It was great to meet one on one with Pres Daw and feel of his spirit and love. I expect he is a good type and example of our Heavenly Father. The overwhelming love, sincerity and goodness that he bears led me to strive to bring my life in line with what a Bishop ought to be and feel that I could carry out this calling with his training and guidance.

I expected they would send me off to the temple to consider who my counselors should be. Instead they ushered me and Lenore into the High Council Room and gave us a couple of minutes to decide. I didn't want to make changes that would be too disruptive in the ward. I also felt that I should try to pick some people from the older part of the ward (Our little neighborhood of Crown Pointe has about 14 active households and out of those there are 8 with major Stake and Ward leadership positions.) Bob Kirk (the old Second Counselor) was a no brainer as First Counselor. He is diligent and hard working and willing to do whatever. Our old executive secretary is 28 years old, had been in a bishopric before moving into our ward, lives in the older part of the ward, owns his house, has a great wife and was doing a great job as ES so I picked him as my Second Counselor. The only bad thing is he is finishing his MBA and busy with night school many evenings. But, he will be done this spring. Also I figured I needed at least one Counselor who was a potential replacement for me down the road. It was a little tougher to come up with the new Executive Secretary. Fortunately, the weekend of General Conference I downloaded our most up to date membership info for my palm and had that with me. Only two weeks prior a couple had moved back into the ward who had been here some time before. The husband is dad's age. It's a second marriage for both of them. He was widowered from his first wife. His new wife is almost 20 years younger than him, had lived in our ward for years, was divorced many years ago and is a really great sister who teaches at Westminster College. They met at the temple and married a couple of years ago. I noticed him the Sunday they came back to our ward and his name pretty quickly floated to the top of the list of names I was considering. They also live in the older part of the ward. All of these selections, of course were made with Lenore's input, the Lord's inspiration and confirmation.

Sunday morning President Daw called at 6am. My first instinct was he was having second thoughts. He told me they had verbal authorization from the First Presidency to call me. But, he got the official letter on Saturday and just opened it early Sunday morning. I am the first Bishop he has put in so he doesn't have a lot of prior experience in doing this. He just wanted to make sure I had never been divorced or disfellowshipped or excommunicated. Other than the divorce thing I figured the First Presidency ought to have record of any disciplinary action. Maybe they just like the Stake Presidents to double check. The Sunday meetings were interesting with all sorts of people trying to guess what was going to happen and prying for information. The Smith's came to Sacrament meeting. But, showed up discretely late and I'm not sure many people connect them with us. So, I don't think that was any big clue. There was a sweet spirit in attendance and I felt confirmation of the whole thing and that the Lord had helped me choose to right counselors.

I was sure I couldn't do this without changing my attitude some. The meeting I had with President Daw when the call was issued, the ordination and setting apart and the "mantle" all help immensely as well as the love and support that I felt immediately from the ward members. It is not unlike serving a mission. You have to make sure you do the things that will allow the presence of the spirit. I don't think you can be a Bishop without all of these things. It is too much of a burden and "job". The family has responded well. I think it has helped Laney as we have adopted a more spiritual routine in the household. There has generally been a better spirit amongst parents and children. It may be hard to keep this. But, we will do what we can.

18 Nov 2004